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    • #94688
      Thistle06
      Participant

      Hello I’ve been a regular phone to womens aid over the last (removed by moderator) months. I have lived in a co ercive relationship for almost (removed by moderator) years. Things started to go downhill summer last year. He took the kids to his mums without discussing it with me, told they didnt want to come home and basically kept asking me what I was doing. This is just one in many many incidents of gas lighting , threatening and lying behaviour. I have felt the environment I’m in getting more toxic with him and his family .so on the (removed by moderator) I recieve in the family group chat I receive a photo with my face scrubbed out and I’m with my children from my mother in law. I’m so horrified and disgusted and I feel so vulnerable, hes more bothered about his mum , I’ve had no apology other than a text no phone call after (removed by moderator) years and a cover up. She came to my house at (removed by moderator) and I’ve never been nothing other than pleasant to her. I feel like reporting it to the police what should I do?

    • #94693
      KIP.
      Participant

      Get in touch with women’s aid and get out of the toxic relationship you are in. Ignore and block his mother from everything relating to you and your children. I can see where your husband gets his abuser traits from. You won’t win tackling her or him head on so work on getting free of them both. For your sake and that of your children.

    • #94695
      diymum@1
      Participant

      This is sinister behaviour from your ex MOL-she sounds unhinged to be frank xx this is what abusive families do my ex’s family were like a pack off wolves. This is divide and rule. I’d take back control get womens aid to help you and a solicitor to see where you stand. Non mol? Occupation order? Child contact order xx protect your self and your kids because abusive people divide families xx don’t let that happen to you xx

    • #94702
      Thistle06
      Participant

      The group chat had (removed by moderator). She sent me (removed by moderator) but he has been going on about how its impacted him and how he has to sort it out. I cant help but believe there is no way back. I live (removed by moderator) miles from any of my family. She has been caught out but between him and her I’m in a vipers nest. I want him out of the house and I’m hoping this will help. Thankyou for your responses, the day it happened he looked over me fists clenched shouting about the mess he was going to have to clear up I could only get him to stop by screaming what a total mess I’ve made of it

    • #94703
      KIP.
      Participant

      Typical of an abuser to blame us for anything and everything and typical of a victim to accept the blame to keep the peace but it was not your fault and he has no right to frighten you like that. He knows what he’s doing and he chooses to do it. Is there any way you can move back to where you have family and support?

    • #94785
      Thistle06
      Participant

      It will be too difficult to uproot the kids as (removed by moderator). I cant believe the support I’ve had on here, I find it so hard to get perspective, on what has happened but it’s the culmination of me letting things go on and on and it feels as though this is him and them writ large. A toxic nest of vipers all the behaviour towards me has been legitimized by him theres no where else it has come from.

    • #94942
      Thistle06
      Participant

      I reported the photo to the police on 101 who have logged it and want me to come in and talk them through it, this happened when I said that the photo felt like a legitmisation of behaviour towards me . So am now petrified of the course of action I have started but also hopeful that this will help me in my application for a non molestation order. He is now talking about reducing money to the joint account and changing jobs which would put more pressure on me with regard to child care, so in spite of the photo and how I feel nothing has changed

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