My birthday

[Arky123]

Every year

my birthday

he’s always asked me what I want always asked me what I want to do.

but i know answering these questions I need to think “will he like it”

“ will he buy it “

so last year for instance. I asked for (detail removed by moderator) it’s (detail removed by moderator) not even a lot now I think about it. It was my day off. Kids just gone back to school. I sat in (detail removed by moderator) for 3-4 hours. Peacefully.
he randomly walks in bare in mind he jus done nights. (detail removed by moderator)  He left and didn’t say happy birthday not once.  I’m not being ungrateful for him paying for (detail removed by moderator). But this is the stuff I got to deal with.  I got home after hair and he ddnt comment on it. And asked what was for dinner.  Before kids come of our school. I did school run and that was it. No birthday mentioned. But I see him. Week in week out. On peoples facebooks. Wishing them happy birthday and it makes me sick.

(detail removed by moderator) is my birthday and he asked me. I said a place. And he blanked me and now he said. I’m going to take u to blah blah blah. (detail removed by moderator) he said u wanna go I said not really. I wanted something different.  He said I was ungrateful and no one else would take me out.

[Bananaboat]

Classic abuser behaviour. Sick really. So sorry this is happening  and happy birthday for whenever it is!

They can’t stand that our birthday isn’t about them, so they weaponise it. Imagine acting that way on their birthday and all hell would break loose. But exactly like you, I used to be asked what I’d like, then he wouldn’t get that or he’d get something else & say I was ungrateful, or he’d promise to do something after my birthday- but it’s not your birthday treat is it or he’d not bother doing whatever he’d said & again twist it to me not being allowed to be upset because, well it’s not your birthday anymore get over it. He’d often get drunk or turn up late & over the years it escalated to him completely ignoring my birthday altogether.

Ask yourself if you want your next birthday to be like this because they’ll never get better I’m afraid x

[Arky123]

yes you are right. I say every year. Will they get better and I can’t do again.
he says money ain’t issue. He flaunts it about to other people. But I get worried to ask for money because it will be 100 questions of what it is for and that he is “broke”. ( he has savings. And earns good wages )

I totally regret asking for this (detail removed by Moderator) now. As I think he thinks that’s him making an effort for my birthday. And it really ain’t.
I have to go to a certain restaurant on my birthday too. As he wants (detail removed by Moderator). That was he’s own words.  “(detail removed by Moderator)“.
I know what the evening going to go like. He going to rush he’s food. I’m a slow eater and he going to tell me. “ you better eat that as I just paid for that not wasting food “ etc.

 

feel just to get drunk the night before my birthday. Invite my sister around for take away and drinks.
And then make out I’m sick

 

but then I think that he would love that. “Well u cancelled I did offer etc “

ahh don’t know how much longer I can take of this

[Bananaboat]

We forget it’s OUR birthday so the choice on what we do should be OURS. If he wants to go to that restaurant and you don’t then he can do it on his birthday but that’s easier said than done isn’t it, we try to keep the peace. However he’ll sulk eitherway so if you want to spend it with your sister and have a takeaway do it! 🙂 it’s YOUR birthday and if he’s unhappy about your choice that’s a him problem, not yours. (Counselling has helped me see this, I know it’s hard to say while you’re in it)

It’s not just the day they ruin is it, just like you’re doing I used to dread it for days/weeks before trying to second guess what he’ll do and what I can do about it. Focus on next year or the year after and how you’d like your birthday to be- if that isn’t an option with him then focus on your option to leave xx

[Arky123]

(detail removed by Moderator)
I got my hair done (detail removed by Moderator) he didn’t compliment. Just said “(detail removed by Moderator)” I said yes that was end of.

I bent over in (detail removed by Moderator) to clean and he (detail removed by Moderator). And I have finger mark bruises on the (detail removed by Moderator) I’ve had severe (detail removed by Moderator) pain all week. So I’ve been squeezing and massing it myself.  He shouting why have I got tht started inspecting my (detail removed by Moderator) all over. Throwing accusations at me. Locked himself in the (detail removed by Moderator) and wouldn’t talk to me. Begged him to talk to me. He said if I don’t get out he’s going to (detail removed by Moderator). I said I was scared and he said I am twisted as I’m the one who came into the (detail removed by Moderator) so how can I be scared.
he’s now gone to work and I’m sitting here (detail removed by Moderator) worried what mood he going to be when he gets back.
Sick of this c**p

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