My experience of refuge

[Anonymous]

I didn’t plan to into a refuge but after (detail removed by Moderator) and threats from my abuser of more abuse l could take no more. I was on a (detail removed by Moderator) at the time and l spoke to one of the supervisor’s. She took me to my local refuge I only had the clothes l was wearing my giro and packed lunch. The women at the refuge talked to me about what had been happening. They let me choose food for myself from the stores. I was put in a two bedroom apartment. Later moved to one l shared with another woman. Mostly l was left by myself l continued on my (detail removed by Moderator) to keep receiving benefit. I was told if l was rehomed it could take a long time. I would have to move a good distance. That meant l would know no-one l also would have to get my abuse moved out as the house was rented in my name. I stayed in the refuge (detail removed by Moderator) month’s. I felt very isolated and alone it seemed that women with children got more attention and support. I had to leave my dog because refuges can’t have them. Before l left l made enquiries at various dogs homes no-one would take him because of it being just after (detail removed by Moderator) and they were full. In the end l went back home and put up with abuse for another (detail removed by Moderator) month till my abuser left home. This happens over (detail removed by Moderator) years ago so things may be different now.

[KIP.]

Things are very much improved but there’s a long way to go with funding. You can get access to lots of help now via women’s aid. My process was fantastic although my ex was arrested and removed from my home so I didn’t make it to refuge but my advocacy worker was fantastic and liaised with housing and the police and pro actively helped with my mental health until she felt I was ace. That’s when I feel there was a lack of support going forward and that’s where this forum was priceless for me. I’m sure if you went back another 20 years I doubt there would be a refuge or organisation to help you at all. I’m glad your abuser eventually left and sometimes that’s all we can hope for. But power to you to have escaped and shared your story x

[Author]

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