1st February 2016 at 6:06 pm #8820
So now I know it’s my own fault, how do I start identifying my behaviours that lead to everyone despising me? I can’t go on with the same old patterns over and over again 🙁
1st February 2016 at 6:15 pm #8823Confused123Participant
hi hun what is your fault, can u expand more so can guide u
1st February 2016 at 6:36 pm #8830
Everything is my fault. I must do something that turned my family against me, and that’s why they started abusing me. My employer then started bullying me and I lost all my friends… I just wish I could see what it is I’m doing so I can work on it!
1st February 2016 at 7:28 pm #8833AyannaParticipant
Hmm, is it possible that you just have the misfortune to be surrounded by (detail removed by Moderator)?
If your family is against you, I mean the entire family, they need to give you a reason why. Otherwise there is this type of family, the neurotic family, who creates their own victim in order to survive. When they all focus on the one ‘bad’ person they feel better and are able to exist. If this person leaves and is unreachable they fall apart.
When you were abused by your family you are easy prey for bullies. This means abusive employers will spot you as their victim and they will bully you.
All of this is not your fault. You are just in a vicious cycle. What you need to do is to break out.
Therapy is the first step.
Change jobs, look for employers who are a bit nice.
The thing with friends is, that there are hardly any real friends. I have no friends. And I am not interested anymore in making friends. I have seen how so called friends can be. That was it for me. But I help people whenever I can. Keep posting. xx
7th February 2016 at 12:16 pm #9244
thank you for your reply also!
I really understand that feeling of being hooked in, even though my abusers were/are family, not a partner. It’s so hard to let go of that last shred of hope that things will change!
I’ve come to believe that the right time is now… that’s one of the affirmations I keep telling myself, whatever it is, whether it’s telling someone something, or doing something, the right time is now. I’ve lost too much by waiting
7th February 2016 at 12:14 pm #9243
Thank you Ayanna, that actually makes a lot of sense x
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