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Lisa.
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3rd August 2024 at 1:41 am #170311
Stuckinturmoil
Participanta few of you will have read my post for the last few years. I’m definitely in a toxic and abusive relationship . my husband is mean to me, I feel like he resents me. he constantly criticises me and says the opposite to what I say out of spite. he is mean to our children. he doesn’t do any housework. he never has a nice word to say to me. And yet I’m still here. Decades of trauma bonding are making me scared to leave . I have made an appointment with an estate agents to come and take photos of my house (detail removed by Moderator). He’s going to get an email on (detail removed by Moderator), telling him. I’m too scared to tell him. I went for tea with my friend and played her a recording of him being mean to my children for years ago . it’s not like that, very often it was one of the worst ones. it made her cry . She rang me the next day and told me to put my house on the market which I’ve done . I am also going to view a House tomorrow. I am terrified of the next coming month
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4th August 2024 at 3:03 pm #170343
Lisa
Main ModeratorHi Stuckinturmoil,
Sometimes we just need the reassurance of someone else seeing the abuse and validating our experience to be able to take the next step. Leaving is a scary time and it can be dangerous, abusers may escalate their abuse to keep their control. Do you have a plan in place to keep safe when he finds out about the house? Is there somewhere that you and the children can get away to if he’s angry and putting you at risk, a friend or family member? You can find some details on making a safety plan in the Survivor’s Handbook. You might also want to use the Women’s Aid Live Chat service to speak to a support worker about safety in your specific situation, or reach out to your local domestic abuse service for some ongoing support throughout. Please remember, you can call 999 in any situation where you’re feeling at risk of harm from him and the police will come and help keep you safe.
Take care and keep posting,
Lisa
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