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    • #24528
      Millionpieces
      Participant

      Dear all,
      The rest of my life I have been giving bcoz that’s how I thought to. In my childhood I see my parent cooks for all the neighbours. First I think it’s bcoz they all works (removed by moderator) but that habit continuous even we don’t do (removed by moderator)  anymore, just let people do it and (removed by moderator)  My family always cook for at least one neighbour. It’s not bcause we are richer than them for some reason that how they do it.
      Today I refused someone to pay water that I bought for them and they said its offended them, they are not charity. The words it’s a gob smacked me so hard. I have been doing it all my life did all this time I made them like a charity? I have been giving so much even in my relationship with abuser but I kept on giving. Is it wrong? How can I say stop that habit?

    • #24531
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Dear MP, I think that what you described is an inner kindness & generosity of nature. That is a nice and good thing and not something that you should change (or your parents). I think the danger comes when the person you are giving to takes advantage of your kind nature, it becomes important for your own welfare to put a stop to it. I am very much like you, I enjoy giving and helping people. But sometimes people take advantage of me. I was giving and kind and innocent throughout my relationship, I do not believe that he had my best interests at heart and had some sort of sinister plan to destroy me. Fortunatly, although it took a while, in the end we finished. He is now not privileged to have any more of my heart or kindness. I think that you perhaps need to work on the areas where your gut instinct tells you that you are doing all of the giving, ask yourself what you are getting back and then just stop giving if you are not getting back equal measure. I gave my ex my all, he gave nothing but just took. Good luck MP XXXXX

    • #24535
      Serenity
      Participant

      Hi Million Pieces,

      You’ve been brought up to give, like I have. I’ve always given to others. Not everyone is good at giving, and not everyone is good at receiving. I would say that I have to improve my ability to receive. I was so used to receiving nothing from my abuser and being denied things, that I think I have forgotten how to receive. I feel uncomfortable with receiving. But I have to relearn this.

      People can’t receive for a number of reasons. They aren’t used to it, or they are proud, or they do t trust people and wonder why someone is giving.

      All of these things are issues with them, not the giver.

      You carry on being you. Giving is a wonderful thing. If people can’t receive, don’t feel you’ve done anything wrong, but remember some people have issues with receiving.

    • #24544
      Millionpieces
      Participant

      Thank you ladies,
      I do realise that I need to learn how to receive much more. I felt I always pushing away people gift, it is so hard for me to receive. This is definitely something I am going to work on my self.
      Thank you ladies, enjoy your day.🌞🌞🌞

      X*X
      MP

    • #24558
      WalkerInTheRain
      Participant

      Don’t ever let your warm heart turn cold. Yes, it can make us vulnerable to people taking advantage but there is a lot of pleasure and happiness to be gained from the giving of gifts, treats, food, compliments and warm smiles.
      Just don’t forget that you receiving something could be the key to lifting someone else’s day.

    • #24559
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      I get joy out of giving. I think you know when you are giving too much & being taken advantage of, that’s when to reign it in.

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