- This topic has 16 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 6 months ago by
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I didnt want to post yet again Ive seen so many new women on here this last week and feel really bad for taking up space but maybe this will help other know they arw not alone.
This is my list of what has happened to me these past (detail removed by Moderator) weeks.Silent treatment as I am on what has become a (detail removed by Moderator) day period and still going.
Accusations of having an affair
Nasty nasty comments as ive been to work
Threat of rape whether it was a joke or not it was a nasty comment
Moods and called a b***h as i wouldnt relieve him
He has been out with friends but I have arranged to go out and i am made to feel guilty and im not allowed to go
Called a bad mum for working and not spending time with child who actually is an older teen and does not want to hang with his mum
Shouted at called names told to leave
Not being allowed to go visit my son as we have to have a hotel and he said it was a waste of money as we couldnt have sex
Begged and i mean begged for relief
More silent treatment for days on end
Small things I know but day in day out that fear that dread having to rush home b4 he is home, having to explain my whereabouts not sleeping not eating not feeling happy loved or supported and this is just the last (detail removed by Moderator) weeks theres so so much more.Yet still I stay.
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Oh Nbumblebee, those aren’t small things. If you were reading those exact things in someone else’s posts you’d be giving amazing words of support.x
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Hi nbumblebee
My last morning that I lived with my ex I woke up and got up and my thought was “this is no way to live”. After many years of abuse I left that day and never went back.
Like you I’d lived this dreadful life for such a long time and never thought I’d leave. Yet here i am…….
Don’t give up hun 💪 xxxx
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You are not taking any more of less space than you need.
These are not little things, these are huge amounts of things, that are eating you up inside, causing panic, sleeplessness, fear, eggshells, disruption, all because a spoilt baby can’t have his own way, so has to make you feel terrible……
These ‘little things’, all add up to make a picture of massive things.
Reread what you have written, and pretend it is your best friend say this to you, and have a rethink, please.
You have the brain power to suss what is best for you and your teen, they always need their mum’s, whether they admit it or not is a different thing, I have (detail removed by Moderator) year olds, and one teen left! These years are far from easy.
Your teen may also be finding this very difficult to watch his mum go through this, he will aware of much more than you realize, I have been really shocked, and upset by what my older children keep revealing to me, yes, they knew way more than I ever thought, and some of it is heartbreaking.
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Really you see to me they are small thing silly things.
I should be able to work through them but I cant. I cant reason with him ive tried to ask why je hates me working ive tried to talk to him about sex and boundries but he just doesnt see it he doesnt see that hes doing anything wrong.
My kids im sure they know i have another 2 older and im certain they see something but im not sure what. I wont ever forgive myself for that part of my life.
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Dear nbumblebee, you deserve so much better than this, we all do. I am living with my abuser too and am also getting the moody silence so I know that edgy stomach churning feeling only too well. Why do we stay? I know why I do, but I guess we all have different reasons – it’s not that simple is it.
I truly hope things get better for you.x
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How I wish I could wave a magic wand and it make it all better for you. You deserve so much more. I know that it seems like small things to you. But you know if he was doing ‘good’ things for you, saying small nice things – they would add up to a happier life. Buts lots of small things, all the time leave you feeling so unhappy. He isn’t a better person than you. You are worthy of being treated better. Easy for me to say I know. I suffered for a very long time. And for most of that I believed that I was the one who wasn’t trying enough, who didn’t do or say the right things that would make him happy. So I know that its not easy. I don’t expect you to feel that you can leave just because I say you’ll feel better. Just keep thinking about the possibility. Allow yourself to dream about it. It too me years of dreaming and thinking but it allowed me to get used to an idea of a life i might be able to have. I never thought i’d be brave enough but I was. And you might be too one day. x
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I was just about to write all the small things together make one massive thing. @decagon has said it and it’s true all the small things eat away at you bit by bit till there’s nothing. Nothing left for you. And u know I’m in the same situation so I get you. Sending you big hugs x*x
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I got so sad reading your post as this was me… there is a better world for you when you are out. Its still super difficult but you start to see the insanity of what we endured and their sick behaviour.
Sending you love x-
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It saddens me that you feel embarrassed about what you shared. It isn’t stupid and I hope you write and share more.
We don’t have to justify or compare our experiences and our feelings for them to be valid. If the way we are being treated makes us feel sad/angry/whatever, then it does. If, in the moment, you feel like you need to share then you should. No-one is judging on here.
I know its hard but I hope that you can be kind to yourself. And show yourself the same compassion that you give to everyone else on here. You deserve it just as much as we do.
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