My one good thing

[nbumblebee]

I just read a book One Good Thing by Alexandra Potter.
It was a beautiful book about being brave enough to take a chance on one good thing then that thing changing your life your mindset it was beautiful and made me cry.
I just passed my final exam.
Dispite him trying everyday to get me to quit he woukd (detail removed by moderator) so I was forced to work in ny car. He accused me of having an affair when i came home late after studying moaned when i read instead of paying him attention and just made it almost impossible I passed.
Its no secret on here how much self hate I have how i beat myself up but today I am ok with me I did it. Im sad that there is nobody to celebrate with nobody to say well done Im proud of you but I guess thats my life. But just for today whilst he is at work im sitting here celebrating my little win. Another brick removed from my wall.
My one good thing was starting gym from there i came here from here I learnt and found support kindness and belief from there i got a job from there i got qualified and who knows where now.
One Good Thing One Brave Step.

[Anonymous]

🥂 well done nbumblebee
💐😗💝

[nbumblebee]

Thank you feels flat now hes home and has taken away any good in my day but need to try abd hang on to that feeling I had earlier dont I. Xxxxx

[Anonymous]

There’ll be more good moments hun, there’s more going on in your life now and your around better people, he’s always gonna be that way until the day you decide your happiness is worth more than being tied to someone like that 💖💕💖

[nbumblebee]

Thank you sweetie so much. It feels like every other part of my life is getting better and i want to be happy but he zaps it all away he cant be happy for me or concerned or proud talk always has to turn back to him. Makes me feel selfish and i doubt what I am doing all over again. X

[Anonymous]

Your not the selfish one “he is” he’s unsupportive, down putting and a manipulative saboteur of your happiness and progression, he’s got his life he’s just trying to wreck yours, 🤗💛🧡

[Lisa]

Hello nbumblebee,

I just wanted to also say a huge congratulations on passing your final exam. It is an even bigger accomplishment under the conditions we are aware you’ve been having to live and study in.

I hope you are able to maintain the sense of achievement I can hear a little bit of in your post. This is a significant success which you have managed completely independently, and no one can take that away from you.

Well done!

Take care,
Lisa

[nbumblebee]

Thank you lisa thats so kind x

[longjourneylife]

Oh huge congratulations!!! Very very well done, you can pat yourself on the back for an incredible achievement. What an inspiration!!! Celebrations ( even if only in your head and shared with us strangers!) Absolutely brilliant of you x*x

[nbumblebee]

Am not sure i could ever be an inspiration but I love your words thank you so much for your support x

[Shazza]

Brilliant nbumblebee, so thoroughly well deserved! Hold on to that feeling, you did this, you accomplished this all by yourself despite everything you are going through. That takes grit, strength and determination. We are all virtually celebrating with you 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[nbumblebee]

I love this Thank you makes me feel less alone. Thank you so much xx

[Gerbil]

Well done you! That’s a fantastic achievement! Don’t forget that feeling of feeling proud of yourself!
Ps thank you for the book recommendation x

[nbumblebee]

Its an amazing book that will stay with me for a very long time.
Thank you for your support x

[Darknessallaround]

We are proud of you nbumblebee, well done and congratulations! You have achieved something great in the face of overwhelming odds, never forget that this is your achievement, he can’t take that away from you.
❤️

[nbumblebee]

You are right darkness I did this I actually did it.
Thank you for reminding me thank you so much xxxxx

[gettingtired]

You’re amazing 😊💕🎊💟💆🥰🥳🤩

[nbumblebee]

Bless you wouldnt have done it without you. Thank you xx

[Twisted Sister]

just had to come by and say congratulations, thats great news!

I can hardly believe you have managed all this despite everything you have to cope with every day, but you have.

You be proud of you! its a huge achievement!

well done

warmest wishes

ts

[nbumblebee]

Thank you I really was so so proud for a second but they have a way of twisting and turning things and he just made me feel so guilty for thinking about myself as he put it about how he cant achieve his dreams cause he has to work. How now i can stop and go back to being at home for him. Havent told him yet ive been accepted on another course that will go down well. But it helps to read these comments it really does. Xx

[Twisted Sister]

well, you knew this would be a typical response from him. He was never going to be pleased at your successes. Look to the people who have your back, when it comes to receiving reasoned replies!

He will always try to knock you down, but you are getting back up time and time again, and its important to be selfish and get your needs met under these circumstances.

He’s selfish and cruel all the time, its rare that you are selfish and prioritise your goals that are for you.

You see how he just sees this as a way for you to be back serving him better, so he’s being completely unreasonably selfish.

Go you! Good luck for your next course!

Warmest wishes

ts

[Watersprite]

I just wanted to say well done nbumblebee you passed your exam and have been accepted on to another course. This is fantastic! You should feel so proud even if a little bit. I’m proud of you and you are posting book choices for us thank you. You are working so hard on yourself and this is so obvious and well done for that too. Keep hold of your success it is yours alone no one did it but you. You can’t control his reaction and as always it will be 💩 but you can decide not to let him spoil your response to your fantastic achievement. It is yours and no one elses x*x

[Darknessallaround]

Hope you have been able to hold onto the good feelings around your achievement and also remind yourself of, or re-read all the lovely supportive comments on here @nbumblebee

I know you will be experiencing put-downs and pressure to not do any more studying, but that is because he is slowly losing control.
RESIST
Rise above it
Expect that he will react badly and be prepared
Show him he cannot intimidate you
I am worth it (tell yourself that)
Save your energy for putting yourself first, not him
Tell yourself every day that you matter

[nbumblebee]

Thank you so so much I needed this today been a rough few days and i just feel so alone so down.
Its like i allow myself that little bit of pride in myself for a day or two then bang remember who you are nbumblebee you dont deserve to feel proud or happy.

I needed this reminder darkness Thank you so very much xx

[Eggshells]

Yay hey 🥂🥳

Well done. So proud of you!

Loads of love you amazing lady. xx

[nbumblebee]

Ahhh hey @eggshells thank you so much sweetie hope you are ok my friend x*x

[strongestperson]

Well done. I am proud of you. I was in s similar situation. I was accused over 10 years of having affairs, of flirting, or looking at other men. None of which I did. I knew he had been sleeping with other women in (removed by moderator). What I found out earlier this week is that he has been sleeping with other women for the whole ten years we were together. He has now left. Now my life begins again.I urge you to get out. Passing your exam was one good thing. You can do another good thing, And another. And another. You are unstoppable. We are all here for you. WELL DONE. STAY STRONG.

[nbumblebee]

Thank you I write so many posts on here id forgotten this one. I needed a boost this week and you reminding me of this post have done that. Im so glad you are out I really am like you say now your life can begin.
For me leaving isnt an option I choose to stay and I have to try and find tbe strength to make a life whilst living along side him. Not easy but none of this is right?
Thank you so much again for reminding me of this post I really needed it.
Take care of you and stay safe x

[Eggshells]

At the moment you find feel like you will ever leave but never say never. You don’t know what the future might bring and how your feelings about yourself might change. Your experience of life has changed so much since this time last year and you have changed. At the moment you can’t imagine leaving but that might change one day.

Reading one of your posts on this thread reminded me of one of the scenes from Harry Potter where the dementors are sucking all the happiness and confidence out of their victim. I wonder if JK Rowling knew a real dementor.

[nbumblebee]

Thanks @ehgshells I get what you are saying i really do my counsellor said to me today that i cant truely heal whilst im still in a place where im being hurt. Makes sense i guess i just cant ever see it happening.
But like you say i am in a different place to where i was last year and who knows where i will be this time next year.

I love LOVE that dementor thought my goodness you have it spot on there. Xxxxx

[Littlenightmare]

Congratulations – that’s a phenomenal achievement, especially given the circumstances. Takes a strong, intelligent woman to persevere and focus on her goals in the face of adversity.

We’re all proud of you here and so are the women who are struggling to achieve their goals and freedom. Your achievement is not just for you, it’s for the army of survivors behind you and an f- you to your abuser.

You go girl! Have a little celebration of your own and show yourself some love.

[nbumblebee]

Since this post was written a few weeks ago ive been put on another course offered a possible amazing job opportunity and dispite feeling such utter guilt it is eating away at me Ive reached out and asked for help with my self harm/eating problems.
Ive been knocked down every step of the way by him and have not felt this low than i have this week never have i wanted to give up as much as i did last week.
Yet again you all pulled me up.
Reminding me of this book of this post has been so helpful Thank you everyone i am so grateful to you all I really am. Xxxxx

[nbumblebee]

Thank you so much x*x

[Author]

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