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I’m (detail removed by Moderator) away from leaving. (detail removed by moderator) I’m leaving after decades of mental abuse with two physical incidents. I’m ill with a virus at the moment so not feeling strong mentally or physically. I won’t get another opportunity to leave for another year. Every bone in my body is telling me to stay. This is up there with my Dad’s death last year. I’ve also been dissociating, it’s like this is happening to someone else. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Take care ladies. X
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Hi Toffeeapple.
I completely understand where you are coming from. I left a while ago and I can honestly say it was easily the hardest but best decision I have ever made!
You CAN do this!
I presume you have made plans? You made those plans for a reason.
Take care honey. I will be thinking of you x-
Just go! I’ve just left after (detail removed by Moderator) years same as you verbal emotional gas lighting manipulative abuse. It took me (detail removed by Moderator) attempts to leave and now I have done so in spite of the daily abuse and manipulation on the phone from him I have no regrets. It isn’t easy and I am only (detail removed by Moderator) in, but oh so worth the peace of mind! Rest once you have left. Please just go!
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If you can go – go. Don’t let your mind manifest excuses for staying. You’ve been strong enough to make plans and consider going through with them, you owe it to yourself to push on and get out.
I had an incident this week that I recorded. As I looked at other voice memos I found one from two years ago. Exactly the same stuff being said. Nothing has changed and it never will. They expect you to change to suit them but whatever you do will never be satisfactory and it leads to you punishing yourself, trying to work out what is so bad about you that you need to change anyway?
Imagine what your life could be without their presence. And go for it. Please don’t suffer another year of upset xx -
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Put your health and physical safety first.
You deserve a future that is peaceful and happy, do whatever it takes to get it.
You can end the vicious circle of abuse forever and build the happy future life that you crave.
Good luck! -
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It took me years to finally leave after threatening it so many times, I always made an excuse because I felt I was needed or certain events were coming up but you have to think of yourself. As per previous comments I also looked back at texts and notes I’d made and the same thing was happening over and over, nothing ever changed, same old cycle and I’d had enough. I feel guilty for walking out and leaving him on his own, I’m still receiving abusive texts but it’s the best decision I made. I have my sanity, peace and calm!
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Hi missindependant.
Thank you for your support. I have left my husband now. Like you I threatened to leave for years but didn’t. No job, money and not wanting to upset him. The day after I left I was crying because I wanted to go back. Like many ladies say, the trauma bond is a force to be reckoned with. But that’s not so bad now. I even laughed at a comedy the other night. He’s saying he feels abandoned by his family so yes, I am feeling guilty. Hope we all go on alright. X
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Well done, and good luck. I am a bit further in the process. I found putting a label on the trauma bond very helpful, and can now actively tackle that. This is the hardest thing I have done, but I hope the best thing I could have done for myself. (I also know that if I even hinted at having him back my friends and family would step in and physically stop me!)
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