need to go

[sweetpea]

Hi I am new to the forum
I have been in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship for over (detail removed by moderator) years but has in the lat few years gone from being the occasional physical abuse to constant .I am so drained and low and need to get out today he has been out All day so I went out with my son I left my job on (date removed by moderator)and he smashed up my gifts turned the hot water while i was in the bath , poured bleach over my head and punched my head saying the people he was with had said i was sleeping with men.He controls all the money and leaves me with nothing even though i work and often can’t eat.
I have had spinal surgery and am supposed to be really careful yet he punches my head and pulls me by the hair .I have told one friend and think people know , he has broken my arm and perforated my ear drums and one night because I went out he was destroying my belongings and throwing buckets of cold water over me and my bed, I phoned his mother .When she came round and saw the water and the house she collapsed and I had to ring an ambulance, according to him she has since said i am to blame and he must be mentally ill and it’s my fault . I can go to my parents but am so anxious and have to return to even worse abuse . I just want to go but don’t know how , I rang the helpline who urged me to report him to the police but I have a grown up son and was so scared, I am so scared to ring again. I just don’t know where and how to go from here , thanks

[godschild]

Hi sweetpea, So so sorry to hear how awful your abuse is, it clearly is getting worse, you cannot stay and be physically treated like this and with ypour spinal problems well.
You must get away, can you stay at your parents foe a while to give you time to sort out , you could also go to a refuge and he would not know where you are. that would give you time and support to find somewhere else to live, you really need support to dothis, do you have a local womens aid they would give you a support worker to meet up with in secret you would assist you to get out safely, abuse often escalates if the abusers realise you are thinking of going , so do look up or phone the helpline to get your loacal WA, you cannot go on with such physical abuse that is getting worse, also keep posting on here for emotional support, other ladies who have left safely will give you advise, (detail removed by moderator) years is a long time to suffer you will feel afraid but as the physical has got so bad you must get away take care xxxx

[Lisa]

Hi Sweetpea,

Welcome to the forum. I am so sorry to read about the awful abuse that you are experiencing and I am very pleased that you have found the forum and also had a supportive reply. Your abuser sounds like a very dangerous man and it sounds like a really unhappy and stressful situation for you and your son.

Please do phone the helpline as soon as you can to start getting some help and support. You are not alone in this and there is lots of support out there. If you do feel strong enough you could also phone the police, what he has done is very dangerous and abusive and they could remove him from the property for long enough for your son and you to have a moment to breath and sort out somewhere safe to go. The helpline could help you to get a refuge where you would be safe and free from abuse. The National Center for Domestic Violence could also help you to get an injunction against him if you wish to stay where you are. (www.NCDV.org.uk)

We are all here for you please do let us know how you are getting on. You deserve so much to feel happy and safe.

Best wishes,

Lisa
Forum Moderator

[Ayanna]

Why are you scared to call the police sweetpea?
You suffer enormous abuse and you do not have to accept this.
Please speak to WA again and make a plan how to get out.
If the police removes him you can get an occupational order against him as as well as a non molestation order in no time. The NCDV helps with this.
Please think about this.
You are precious and you deserve a good life!

[Author]

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