Need to take first step and don’t know how!

[fightsong]

I have realised that I need to leave an abusive marriage.

I have been with my husband for (detail removed by moderator) and married for (detail removed by moderator). I have a daughter and have realised that although I know I have lived in an abusive relationship for about (detail removed by moderator) and have accepted the way it was, I can’t anymore as it’s affecting my daughter. It was physical abuse with him strangling me, (detail removed by moderator) and pushing me out of bed but not this hasn’t been since (detail removed by moderator), and now it’s verbal to me and my daughter swearing at us, controlling me and saying he would kill me if I left him. I am careful what I say in case it does turn physical again.

I don’t want to leave my job as I work full time and have a good job. But I do want to leave the family home. I am unsure of the best way to go about this and get us out of the situation. I also feel really awful that he doesn’t know what I am about to do. I hate hurting people but I just want to get out now but don’t know what I should do first! Any advice would be welcome!

[Lisa]

Hi Fightsong,

Thank you for your post. I’m sorry to hear about your situation. What you described sounds really scary- its not fair that you and your daughter are living with this.

If you want to leave the family home- your local authority should have a duty of care to accomodate you and your daughter. I would suggest contacting your local domestic abuse service who can support you with this and a safe plan to leave.

Take care and keep posting

Best Wishes

Lisa

[Author]

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