25th January 2020 at 8:16 pm #96477
Hello, I am posting on behalf of a friend who needs urgent help.
She has had her abuser arrested but has been informed he is being bailed without charge. She is scared he will come straight to her home now and police are doing nothing to safeguard her.
We are bringing women’s aid and leaving messages but not getting a reply. Does anyone else know of anybody else we can contact for urgent help?
25th January 2020 at 9:03 pm #96486LisaMain Moderator
Sorry to hear that you’re not getting a response from the National Domestic Violence Helpline- Women’s Aid no longer run this Helpline but do keep trying.
Your friends local council have a duty to help her with emergency accommodation- it’s important to make it clear to them that she is ‘unintentionally homeless due to domestic abuse’. Finding the out of hours number for the local council can sometimes be tricky but they should list it on their website.
Her local domestic abuse service may also have a 24 hour Helpline- most services are open Mon – Fri working hours but it would be worth looking into this.
If she has anywhere to stay tonight and tomorrow (friends or family), then Women’s Aid can do a refuge search for her via the live chat, but this is only open Mon – Fri 10am – 12pm.
Shelterline have a Helpline which will be open tomorrow 9am – 5pm tomorrow. They are the experts in housing law and legislation.
It’s understandable she’ll be scared but if there’s bail conditions in place and he’s breaching these by coming back to the house then it’s important to let the police know immediately so they can remove him.
26th January 2020 at 6:58 pm #96528Anonymous
Is she ok now?
26th January 2020 at 8:52 pm #96547EscapeeParticipant
29th January 2020 at 9:56 am #96697
Thank you everyone for your comments. Her solicitor is handling the case brilliantly and they are putting in a formal complaint to the police. She has a non molestation order in place as of today so is in a much better place.
It’s crazy how we play it all down like is it happening? Is it really abuse? Then all of a sudden we are scared for our lives.
Please please take abuse seriously, it’s given me a kick up the bum too!
29th January 2020 at 10:04 am #96699EscapeeParticipant
I’m so pleased to hear that she feels safer now and has people helping her.
You sound like a very good friend…. she’ll need you xx
For more understanding, Healing from hidden abuse – 99p kindle version / why does he do that – free PDF download – will help you both. Her in understanding just what they he’ll happened and for you to understand what she’ll be going through.
Good luck and bless you for being there for her xxxx
29th January 2020 at 11:05 am #96703
Thank you, I have been dealing with abuse myself, no quite the same as what my friend is going through but there are very close similarities. I have just read that book actually! It really opened up my eyes. I used to think that he had something wrong with him mentally… now I know that he actually wants me to believe that so I don’t cotton on to his abuse. It definitely takes the mystery out of the situation which makes me feel more empowered to resist it in the future. I have told my friend about that book and some you tube channels to watch, as well as this forum.
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