New and embarrassed :(

[Labyrinth]

Hi all. I’m new to this so am not really sure how it works or what to say. I haven’t been in the abusive relationship for a couple of years now but I still suffer from depression, paranoia/insecurities and anxiety… All that messes up stuff. I feel really embarrassed about it and have only ever managed a few emails to the Samaritans without really delving in to what actually even happened. I’m young and feel like I should be over it by now and bounced back to my old self and I’m scared because I haven’t. I have had only one other (failed) relationship after my abusive one and can’t help but think if I had dealt with my issues then I could have been happy. I’m scared to meet new people even as friends and I feel stupid about it if that even makes any sense? I’m probably rambling but it’s just that time of year and I’m feeling really low again.

[Dragonfly]

Hi – I’m new to this too. I think you need to get it all out, it will upset you but it sounds like it’s all still in there. Please don’t feel embarrassed. I take it you’ve been to your GP? Or try phoning the women here at Women’s Aid. I did that and didn’t know where to start, they can help you. It doesn’t matter what age you are, you don’t just get over stuff like that (I’m not so young). You need to keep communicating. Don’t hide it all away. x

[KIP.]

Hello and welcome, ring the helpline number on here. It takes a very long time to recover from the trauma they leave us with. You have nothing to feel embarrassed about. The fault is always with the abuser. Keeping secrets like this makes us depressed. You need to talk with a professional. Women’s aid can help with therapy too. They run positive courses for victims of domestic abuse X

[Labyrinth]

No, I haven’t been to my GP about it. I’m worried they’ll think I’m over reacting about it or if they do believe me that I’ll just be put on medication. I always go through phases of good and bad so whenever I feel good I convince myself I’m all ok and that I don’t need any help even though I probably should have gotten some a while ago. I will look in to ringing the number on here if I feel brave enough. Thank you both for replying xx

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