New and feeling dead inside

[Barbs]

Been in a long verbally and mentally abusive relationship got out few months ago but he’s turned everyone against me he’s a liar and manipulator (drugs cocaine involved but he will never admit that to anyone ) a offered him supervised visits to my son both arranged visits he’s let him down now we have to go to mediation as seemingly this is the process now to get legal aid a have been to my first meeting next one is both us in the room with medator am terrified feel no one will believe me as he’s turned it all around in me am being bullied by my older children also my small son attends calms as suffered severe anxiety as a do at my wit’s end doctor refers me for counselling but 2 month and still waiting on appointment dont know were to turn reson for mediation as he’s text he will take me the full court road and get it his was with my sonn

[Falling Skys]

Hi Barbs

Well done for getting out, have you any contact with Womans Aid they are a great support through this time.

You are doing all the right thing and its him not you.

FS xx

[Lisa]

Hi Barbs

Firstly welcome to the forum, I hope you find it a supportive place.
Well done for posting about what you are going through, I know that can be difficult.

It is unfortunately very common for abusive men to try to continue the abuse through child contact once you have left the relationship, which it sounds like your ex is doing. With the mediation you can ask for shuttle mediation which is when you and your ex would be in separate rooms and the mediator would shuttle between the two. It sounds like you have been dealing with this alone which you don’t need to do as there is support out there for you. There will be a specialist domestic abuse support service in your area, you can find details of this by either calling the helpline on 0808 2000 247 to ask about local support and have a chat with a worker. Alternatively if you go back to the main Women’s Aid homepage, at the very bottom of the page you can click ‘Find help locally’ and search under your location.

Take care and keep posting

Lisa

[Barbs]

Thank you so much for the replys a have contacted womens aid in my area well a emailed them so it’s a start as a feel a complete mess just now and just looking for some advice to help me cope a bit better and understand things as feel he’s turning everyone against me as outside he’s Mr nice nice to everyone

[EeyoreNoMore]

Hey Barbs, get as much support as you can from anyone who will give it!

I’m not sure you’re obliged to do mediation are you? I thought if there are allegations of abuse then mediation was a no no?

[Barbs]

A have been a silent sufferer certain family and friends have seen it first hand but av never done anything about it (feel so stupid )

[Anonymous]

Barbs you are not to blame .you did the right thing leaving iam so very proud of you . These abusers make us feel its our fault . My ex probably doing same making me out to be the bad one .hold your head up straighten your crown. Get as much support as you can .even victim support are good x

[Author]

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