New and nervous!

[Believer]

Hello Everyone
I’m named Believer cause I believe one day I will be free. This has been going on for (detail removed by moderator) months, ever since my partner lost his job! He changed as a person and I became suspicious that he was cheating on me! To cut along story short (he was/and is) I challenged him so many times begged him to leave! But he wouldn’t instead he begun getting angry with me, first of all it was emotional! My goodness the things he says is pure evil! Then spitting, slapping! Chinned me, bit me!! Ended up in hospital one night! A year on he’s worse!!! Especially when I discovered his relationship with his new bit on the side! Even found photos!! Begged and begged him to go…. I made the mistake of messaging her! She new nothing about me!!! My goodness my punishment will stay with me forever!!! Clothing cut, personal items snapped! Knife put through electrical items! Work uniforms cut!! Hair pulled!! Hands round my throat! Got me in car at knife point!!!! Apparently all in my head other woman!!! Anger is love…… my friends have begged me not to challenge him! But I want him gone so much!! Why should I be scared to voice my concerns!! Police have already been involved he made it quite clear he’d come looking for me down the line!! Please reassure me he will go……. I feel so ashamed

[Confused123]

HI Hun

Sorry to hear what you are experiencing, if u dont mind me asking if he wont leave why dont u leave? not sure maybe the house is on your name, if thats the case report him to police for the abuse and have him removed , you def need support, have u tried calling hte helpline and seeing how they can guide you , look at all options that are available to you, please keep safe

[lover of no contact]

Hi Believer,

A brilliant name. ‘Where there’s a will there’s a way.’ I thought I’d never break free from my abuser ex husband as I was trapped financially, emotionally by my own beliefs, trauma-bonded to him. Trapped by his threats of gaining full custody of day to day care of my children in our house with me gone and I had no way of financially supporting myself.

Well I did get free. It can be done. The first step you’ve already done by reaching out for support by coming on here. Keep reading the posts daily and posting as you need. This will give you knowledge. Knowledge is Power. You will also have the collective strength of this group of women. We have a lot of experience, strength and hope. You will become empowered and gain the strength to leave him and then to resist his attempts to get you back. You are in the right place.

As a further support I would advise to ring Women’s Aid as your abuser is very dangerous ( as knives involved). Gather as much support around you.

You have a life free from abuse to look forward to.

Welcome to the Forum.

[Lisa]

Dear Beliver,

Welcome to the forum! Thank you for your post. I am so pleased to see that you have had some helpful replies. I just wanted to show you some support. Your partner sounds very violent and dangerous so please be very careful and do not let him know that you are getting support, he will not like the idea of you getting stronger. Please find a safe time to phone the helpline, they can let you know all your options, including finding a refuge space for you or advising you on possibly getting an occupation order against him if you think you would feel safe to stay in the property.

We are all here for you. Please phone the helpline and let us know how you get on.

Best wishes,

Lisa
Forum Moderator

[Author]

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