New and no motivation for life

[BetterDaysComing]

It’s been (detail removed by moderator) since I called the police for the first time .. (detail removed by moderator) since my ex disappeared for (detail removed by moderator) and upon him arriving home and me asking where he’d been, instead of him answering he dragged me by my legs out of my bed into the (detail removed by moderator) and stamped on my back.
Once I got up he threw me into the wall , crashing my head and smashing a glass.. I still got up and that’s when he did it .. slammed me to the (detail removed by moderator) with his hand full force around my neck .. strangling me until I couldn’t breathe. My neck was marked from the nail indentations.

20 seconds more I could have died.

Luckily I got up and ran outside and called the police.
They arrested him , he was sent to court the next morning .. charged with ABH and assault by beating.

He was remanded for (detail removed by moderator) days and on the (detail removed by moderator) day they DROPPED the ABH charge and just stuck with the assault by beating!
He’s now out on bail conditions not allowing him in the area .. this is until trial (detail removed by moderator) where I’ll be lucky to get a restraining order suitable for me.

Where is the justice!

He was emotionally abusing me for months .. he’d take the door handles off doors in the house so I couldn’t go into rooms , disconnected the bathroom light so I’d have to shower pee in the dark.
Constantly go AWOL and when I asked where he’d been I was ‘controlling’.

My whole life has been turnt upside down and now I feel like he’s just going to get away with it!

Now I’m still here living in this house , reliving it everyday , I find it hard to sleep in the bed , but even harder to find the motivation to get out of bed everyday and if I ever do find the motivation to get out of bed .. I just drink to forget.

When does this end!

[Soulsearcher18]

I’m sorry to hear of all that you’ve been/are going through.
I hear you about systems in place- I’m with you on it.
What support have you got around you?
Have you got a Women’s Aid worker?
You have and are experiencing traumatic events, it is going to be so important to ensure that you have a network of trusted support around you.
We are here in forum to listen so that you can share how you feel and offer support.
Professional support is also going to be needed if you haven’t got it in place already. I am not sure when you will get chance/feel like posting again so I am just going to put the links down here for how to get in contact with women’s aid through this website and also how you can access your local women’s aid support.
Aside from women’s aid, I would also suggest, if you haven’t already, that you contact your GP and book in with them regularly. I am not a medical expert at all but it is likely that you could be experiencing PTSD, they can support you around this, or any other affects of the abuse and talk to you about different support options.

I need help – information and support on domestic abuse

Domestic Abuse Directory

Please keep posting to us on here, let us know how you are doing. This was a great first step- it takes effort to sign up and post and it is good to vent and express it all.

Soulsearcher18

[Lisa]

Hi BetterDaysComing

I just wanted to show you some support, I can see that Soulsearcher18 has given you some really good advice, it would be a good idea to get in touch with your local domestic abuse service to get some support in place if you haven’t already.

You have been through so much, your ex partner sounds really dangerous and it’s a relief that you are safe now. I know it’s really difficult for you and that it doesn’t seem fair if nothing is done about his behavior.

Please try and look after yourself, you could try to set yourself a list of tasks you need to get done for the day to see if this helps with motivating yourself, and keep posting on the forum as we are all here for you.

Take care

Lisa

[BetterDaysComing]

Hey guys ,

Thanks for your responses!
I’m working with (detail removed by moderator) but my workers currently on annual leave.
The police never contact me.
He had knives , guns , weapons in the house which I had found when clearing his stuff. They were seized by I was just told if they’re legal he’ll get the back and they won’t even go against him in court.

It’s just horrible to know that he could’ve killed me and he’ll more than likely just get a a slap on the wrist.

I’m going to (detail removed by moderator) it just still doesn’t feel enough.

I’m sure he’s manipulated them enough (detail removed by moderator)

Just didn’t expect this to ever happen to me 🙁

[Eggshells]

Hi Betterdayscoming, I really feel for you. Where is justice? And you sound very frightened. Is there anyone that you can stay with for a while? Having company could be very good for you. As has been said, maybe small manageable goals.

Can you chat to your GP and tell them how you’re feeling? They may be able to help with some therapy and perhaps mediation if you would be willing to try it. Now is a time to be kind to yourself. x*x

[Author]

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