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    • #104211
      Jellyx
      Participant

      Hi ladies,
      So I won’t give the long story as it will just bore everyone. I met my ex partner a few years ago and at the start it was all great (although my mum had said there was something she didn’t like about him, I should have listened she is always right !) he was good to me and after a failed relationship and one child on my own I loved the attention. But then we moved in together very quickly and it all fell apart the first time be put his hands round my neck not tight enough to cause marks but tight that I couldn’t breathe for a few seconds. He cried said he was sorry he was just stressed and had been drinking don’t ask me why but. I believed him. Let it go from then on if went from one bad day to a good day to a bad day. He broke things binned my sons toys left me to work full time pay the bills whilst he went between jobs. The mental abuse was the worst all the bad names I’ve been called them all and I just accepted it and buried my head in the sand. He pretended to be a great guy in front of everyone else though. Finally I phoned the police and he was charged with a domestic and there wa an order put in place I finally moved on with my life met someone else and fell pregnant but before I knew it be was back he had somehow managed to convince me to go back and he would change !! I’m so so mad at myself for allowing it because things where great by then. Anyway same rubbish started again be treated my second son so poorly as he wasn’t his he called him names called me names the physical side had gone but had been replaced with an even nastier horrible evil side who mentally abused me daily. I then fell pregnant again with my third son who we share together and thinking this would be the change be needed NO OF COURSE NOT he nearly missed The birth because he wanted to smoke I was very sick after having him and he still made me do everything whilst he lazed about he gave up his job for no reason he was useless, anyway I finally broke down one day in front of my HV who was in to just check on My son she immediately helped me and gave woman’s aid my details. Within days they were in touch and they found me a safe haven. I left one day whilst he had gone and it was the best thing I ever did. He still sees his son when he can Be bothered but I don’t deal with him anymore. I’m so mad I let someone do this to me for so many years my blessing is that I’m still young and I have a career to go back to and of course my babies but he took everything from me and I’m having to start all over again with little people around me as my friends just couldn’t see me hurt anymore and left my life I choose him over them ! I blame myself for a lot of it I just wish sometimes things had hit me sooner. I didn’t know how strong I was till now ❤️ Anyway I just had to share this is the first time I’ve ever shared it all like this xx

    • #104225
      Wants To Help
      Participant

      Hi Jellyx,

      Wow, you are amazing. I know how hard it was to flee with one little one and go it alone, hats off to you for doing it with three little ones. That is some Girl Power 🙂

      Your story brings so much comfort to show what can be overcome once we put our minds to it and are determined to put the abuse behind us. I went to a refuge in the end too and that is where my journey through DA changed for the better.

      So glad that you have got out and have a career to return to and build your life back up to what you want it to be. Your story is very encouraging and empowering x

    • #104230
      HopeLifeJoy
      Participant

      Hi Jellyx
      Well done for getting out, you had quite a journey, so glad you and your children are free now.
      We all blame ourselves for not seeing it sooner but I see it this way; we try our very best to make the relationship work, not knowing he is actively working against it. Had I known I was dealing with an abuser I would have left much earlier. I didn’t have the knowledge back then.
      You go girl! Get back your life 💪 and as for your lost friendships, either the strong worthy of your presence will hold through it all or you’ll make new stronger friendships.
      Here’s to you 💕

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