New Here

[Cockatoo]

Hi I’m Cockatoo,

WA was recommended to me by one of the mental health services, I can’t remember which! But glad to be here and just wanted to say ‘hi’ and introduce myself.

I came out of a DA relationship a while ago now.

Reading on the forums and from speaking to therapist, I’ve found that some survivors find it helpful to write out their story in a blog with media etc (names etc disguised) as a type of therapy in itself and also as a way of using it to explain to friends and family what happened. Has anyone done this? and if so did you find it helpful? Also, what blogging site did you use? It needs to be password protected obviously.

Thanks

[Lisa]

Hi Cockatoo,

Welcome to the forum! I hope you find this a safe and supportive place to be. It’s good to hear you have manged to leave the abusive relationship. Healing and processing all that you have been through can take time, so it’s a positive step forward to come forward here and share what you have been through.

I’m sure many of the women here will be able to relate to the experiences you share and be able to offer advice, empathy, and understanding.

All the best,

Lisa

[Twisted Sister]

Hi Cockatoo

Just dropping by to say welcome, and acknowledge your managing to post and reach out in a new place.

I’m afraid I don’t have any experience to offer re blogging your story. Just to say always tread carefully and safely wherever you say your words to ensure that you are a) not tracked by your ex, and b) that your words land in the right environment. For instance, this forum has to be one of the rarely found most non-judgemental and respectful, welcoming places. wherever you decide to post be sure its a safe and protective one.

Good luck with it.

warmest wishes

ts

[Cockatoo]

Thank you for the warm welcome and words of advice x

[Koha]

Hi all,

I’m new here. Found the website via checking the information about divorce.
I have two kids under (detail removed by moderator) and after (detail removed by moderator) I’ve decided I no longer want to be with my kids dad. He’s always been paranoid, controlling, very cold with me, it didn’t matter if we had days off he never wanted to make memories with either me or his kids. He has gotten too comfortable with this that I hate myself for allowing him to control my life so much that I have lost myself and don’t recognise myself anymore. I’m so impatient and my confidence has gone to the ground. I hate it when I’m so impatient with the kids and this has nothing to do with them. They’re too innocent. But he’s changed my character so much that it’s dug too deep now. I’m work in progress and I can see a light at the end of the tunnel but it’s too far away. I don’t understand why do I still feel sorry for him which I shouldn’t really after all the mental abuse he has done to me and why am I not treating him like s**t like he always treated me? He’s always been paranoid since the beginning and by time it’s gotten from bad to worse. I don’t want to stay with him any longer but the issue is that I’m having anxiety for the fact that we have a house and finance jointly and he’s decided to sell the house as he doesn’t accept any other option such as me trying to give him slowly his deposit. Anyways the house is on sale now and because we have it jointly we’re still living together but I do my stuff, he does his stuff, like two separate people. My issue is my kids that are too little to understand what is going on even though my eldest can sense it.
I don’t know what to do i’m so confused with all the information online relating to divorce. I don’t even know where to start. Do I apply for divorce online while the house is still on sale? Or do i wait until it’s sold and then apply? I’m just anxious if I get divorced early and the house is still not sold am I still entitled to the profit?
Also, will I be entitled to benefits if I end up getting any profit from the sale of the house? When do I use the solicitor? I know I can apply all by myself online and I don’t want to spend too much money on lawyers but at some point I will have to use one but not sure when?!
It’s quite a long one and I haven’t said much of it. 😑😑

I would appreciate for someone to just tell me am I doing the right thing that I have agreed to sell the house without any formal documentation between my soon to be ex husband and I haven’t applied for divorce online yet? I’m so confused and scared if i’m doing the wrong step that will affect my kids and myself as well. Ex husband is not trustworthy anymore for me.

Still learning …

[Author]

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