2nd March 2021 at 1:43 pm #122605
Hi I’m new to this forum unfortunately not new to this situation. I have just left an emotional abusive relationship after (detail removed by moderator). I am fortunate tthat I have my own place and no children this time with my ex.
I’m hurt that all that I thought was real is not, and the one person I thought I could rely on has gone and it was all a sham. He went around my friends and family telling first that he didn’t no what he had done, then that I probably thought he had cheated although I never accused him of that. Then he told other friends I had cheated and lied to him. This was not true. I think the worst part apart from this was that he went to my ex, (detail removed by moderator) who was also abusive to me, which he knew and (detail removed by moderator), he went to him and told lots of personal stuff to, probably more than he, the previous ex has let on to me when he took pleasure in telling me.
I no this is all designed to provoke a reaction from me which I have not given to the recent ex. I have blocked on everything and not responded to letters etc. I live in (detail removed by moderator) and as much as I can ignore lies its bothering me as he, to the outside world, especially in his job is a (detail removed by moderator). I no from previous that u cannot argue with a narc. My issue is now the previous ex has ramped up his “involvement” in my life, via my daughter and its her I’m desperately trying to protect.but how do I. I can’t speak bad of her dad, cause he will counter act this. Needing some support please. My close friends are supportive but don’t really understand
2nd March 2021 at 10:23 pm #122633gettingtiredParticipant
Hey sleepypigeon (I love the name!) how are you doing?
Just bumping your post up.
I don’t have children so don’t feel I can give the best advice but could you contact your local women’s aid for some advice and support? xx
3rd March 2021 at 12:31 pm #122668
Hi, thanks for your reply. Im doing OK, mostly. Currently trying to contact WA but have no succeeded. Also going to talk with Councillor, but support from people that have also been through similar would be good. As I no im not alone in this situation.
Hope ur ok too xx
3rd March 2021 at 11:38 pm #122709gettingtiredParticipant
I hope you can get hold of WA.
Yes support from others who understand on this forum is so helpful. Have you looked into joining the freedom programme online? I haven’t done it but have heard from others you join via zoom, like a weekly meeting with other survivors xx
3rd March 2021 at 5:53 pm #122681LisaMain Moderator
I just wanted to show you some support, I can see that Gettingtired has shown you some support too.
It’s understandable that you are feeling hurt, your ex has been very abusive to you and your previous ex being involved again is a lot to cope with.
You could chat to a Women’s Aid worker in confidence via our Live Chat service (weekdays 10am – 4pm and 10am – 12pm weekends). They won’t tell you what to do, but can discuss your situation and signpost you to other support that’s relevant for you. You can access the chat service here:
Take care and please keep posting,
4th March 2021 at 8:43 am #122724
Thanks for your reply, feeling very isolated atm. I have tried the wa chat but have sat on hold a couple times and not been connected. Understand they can be very busy at times. Have been listening to pod casts by mat phiffer? Which are helpful somewhat. Would be good to talk to someone thought.
Spoke to another wa area by email and there freedom programme is ongoing so couldn’t join but they have another starting after the summer. Hoping my local wa could help but worries of living in a small area have stopped me phoning and have only email them but no response as yet
27th March 2021 at 7:14 pm #123880NikitaParticipant
I’ve read your story and it’s very moving. Hope you get the help you need soon, in the meantime we’re all here for any support we can possibly offer.
You’re so right, can’t argue with a narc,they convince themselves and everyone around them that they’re the victim and you’re the bad guy,but never let him make you believe that or feel like you’re losing your mind. You’re not, and one day everyone else will see right through him.
Keep your head up, always xx
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