5th February 2018 at 9:28 pm #54237
Hi, I’m new here, but still in marriage.
I have Fibromyalgia.
How often do people use this site, because I’m wondering how long till I get any response, I suppose I’m used to instant feedback.
Feeling confused how to use this site.
Would be nice to hear from someone.
5th February 2018 at 9:43 pm #54239MalachiteParticipant
I think it’s just luck I’m afraid. I don’t have a similar disability to you so I wouldn’t normally reply if you had many responses because I would feel like I wouldn’t be much use! I used to use the site more often when I was still in my previous relationship, but now I just have issues with my ex my problems seem too specific to talk about on a public forum and I can’t go “no contact” yet.
I’m sory to hear that you’re still in an abusive relationship. I used to get a reply within 24 hours and my first post was in “Is it abuse?” and it explained my situation a bit so people who experienced similar could validate my feelings etc. Fortunately I wasn’t married to my abuser, though we do have a child together.
I found the helpline really good to talk to. If you call around this time at night and leave a message I bet they’d call you back quickly if it was safe for them to do so. That may give you the quick response that you’re after. Plus they can help with safety planning 🙂
5th February 2018 at 9:51 pm #54240MalachiteParticipant
Basically, all the people on this forum are anonomous and can reply to posts or start a post whenever they want. Sometimes a moderator may reply with advise, I’m not sure how quickly they aim to do this, and sometimes moderators do not reply at all. Though I assume they try to reply to all new members.
I realise my last reply was really confusing. Hope this helps more!
I found posting here and emailing WA helped me find courage to call the helpline, and the helpline (and a very good friend) helped me find the courage to (sort of) leave. I hope posting here can help you too x
6th February 2018 at 11:16 pm #54298
Thanks for your reply s, …every time I try go on this site, he comes to see what I’m doing….Thankyou for your postings 🌈
5th February 2018 at 10:08 pm #54241KIP.Participant
Hello and welcome, a couple of ladies on here have fibromyalgia and blame the stress of dealing with their abusive partners for making it much worse. People dip in and out of the site so it varies on time for responses x please persevere, its a wonderful supportive site x
6th February 2018 at 7:48 pm #54283LisaMain Moderator
Welcome to the Forum and thank you for posting. I hope you find the Forum a safe and supportive place to be.
As already mentioned, keep checking back to the Forum when you can as response times vary depending on when people are able to offer support. If talking to someone about your situation would help then the 24hr National Domestic Violence Helpline is available on 0808 2000 247. The Helpline Workers can be a listening service as well as discuss options based on your circumstances. They can also signpost you to other useful organisations such as your local support group.
When you feel ready then please do post again, we are here to support you.
6th February 2018 at 11:17 pm #54299
Thankyou for the message 🌈
6th February 2018 at 9:01 pm #54288TiffanyParticipant
I don’t have fibro, but I have ME, and when I was with my abuser I also developed another illness from the same umbrella. I would say to you not to let worry about how you will cope with the fibro stop you leaving. My ex excelled at making me think I couldn’t handle my illness alone. The reality was that the abuse was causing massive flares in my illnesses. I was in continual pain. Less than a year since leaving and I have only had a handful of flare days since I got away from the abuse and started recovering from it. I still have ME and have to manage my energy levels. I imagine it might be the same with fibromyalgia, but it is so much easier when you aren’t dealing with the stress of abuse. And my other illness has all but disappeared.
6th February 2018 at 11:19 pm #54300
Hi Tiffany….I’m glad your health has improved, thanks for the response 🌈
15th February 2018 at 12:14 pm #54626FreedomfighterParticipant
Just come back to the forum after a couple of weeks. Just been browsing looking for support advice given to others and reply if I think I might be able to help anyone else with support or advice. You posted a reply to one of my old posts so when I saw your name thought I’d check out your post.
I got the impression you’re not comfortable sharing yet, but are looking for ladies with similar difficulties, like still being in the marriage and having health issues. Well snap!😊
When I first came on here I wasn’t sure I belonged, how I would fit in, whether people would understand my problems, why I’d stayed so long etc etc.
I needn’t have worried, but like you when I didn’t have any replies for a while I felt worried. Sometimes I get several replies quickly, other times only one or two hours later or the next day. Once in a while it’s weeks later. Everyone is different, some visit and reply often, others rarely. I think many probably feel like me that I shouldn’t say anything if it’s something I haven’t had first hand experience of. Then there’s the problem of, am I saying the right thing here’s, I don’t want to upset anyone. Most of the time people are just like the two of us and want to know there’s someone out there who will listen, understand and care enough to reply.
Posting is scary at first, but I find it’s a really useful and effective method of casting the doubts away
Keep posting, keep reading
17th February 2018 at 1:11 pm #54703SerenityParticipant
I have fibromyalgia and blame my abusive marriage.
I don’t get to come onto this forum as often as I used to, but still drop in at least weekly. X
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