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    • #45645
      brandnewme
      Participant

      Hi , i have managed to get my husband out of the house and he is not doing all the things ii thought he would do? he is leaving me alone ,respecting my wishes and trying to sort himself out.
      He has takn lots of positive steps , he is staying 200 miles away at his parents , gone to seek help with MH issues,alcohol issues , he is reading the extracts for men who want to change from (detail removed by moderator). he is making an action plan and appears to be excepting that he has been a vile idiots who has used me as an emotional punchbag for the past two decades.
      i have not spoke to hhim since he actually went (after police had to be called as he was trying to kick my door in after going meental.
      (detail removed by moderator) i also kicked him out as his drinking and emotional abuse had spiraled , that was a different story completely , he managed to get back into our flat ,change the locks ,leaving me and my kids homeless. he then wrecked the home ,burnt all my stuff and furniture , did not pay the rent and drank himself into oblivion.
      after (detail removed by moderator) and a major life event in my life we ended up giving it another go , he got off booze for (detail removed by moderator) (although never sought help or support) and we tried again , however it all gradually went wrong again and i was to scared to make him go as he ruined my life lst time.
      the thing is i do love him, he is the father to all my kids ,he has potential i think , or am i just kiding myself. thanks for reading this , any advice greatly needed , i am really confused as to what the hell in going on x

    • #45663
      Confused123
      Participant

      HI Hun

      I think you need to read your own post again and think if that was somebody else post would you say stay with them. My ex was an alcoholic too and used that as an excuse to beat me cause he used to have black outs was he excuse so never remembered anything,,,, all lies….. they remember everything and know exactly what they are doing. I hope this time u changed locks and put extra security in place to protect yourself and children. It is absolutely horrible what he did to you and your stuff so can understand u feeling scared to leave him. My advice to you is get a non mo, issued against him and never let him back in your life, these men are so unpredictable you never know what they will do, nay changes they do make are always temporary and then they go back in to same cycle. Even i thought i loved my ex, but that’s not love how they behave, they become a drug for us , i don’t know what it is we loved about them, maybe we hold on to the good memories or the fake them. My ex abused me to such a high level i went into denial and trauma shock, i really thought i loved him even though he beat me up so much , but that was not love , get counselling and support for yourself, read up on abuse there’s a book call ed why does he do that by lundy bancroft, is a real eyeopener and worth buying of amazon

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