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    • #50025
      fridges
      Participant

      Hello, to everyone on the site. I’m glad that I was able to find you and I was reading your stories, which are very touching and I had tears in my eyes. Understanding there are many many women, who survived or trying to get help now.
      I had suffered many abuse first from my stepfather, then I got in an abusive relationship of (detail removed by moderator)who destroyed me completely. Now I’m on recovering path, it is first time I took courage to speak about it. Years passed but memories are still coming on the surface.

      I felt I need help and went to see psychotherapist, after one consultation she told me is not able to help me, my case is too complex and I need to see much stronger specialist. I felt with her, that she does not want to have a complicated patient who will bring up horror stories in her life.
      Advised me to go to my GP and explain all. My GP is not the right person to whom I would be able to open up. I do not feel comfortable, plus I’m afraid to be judged.
      Here I am, looking for the psychotherapist who is not afraid to work with me. Privately with discretion. I’m ready to work on me and let it go, and to learn my mistakes. So I will be free from attracting wrong men to my life.
      Or wrong people, who are taking advantage.
      I want to have clean life and build a new chapter in life, where no longer I’m hold by past abuse or people who hurt me badly.
      Anyone knows the specialist who is able to work with me?
      Please advise me?

      Thank you very much!

    • #50036
      SunshineRainflower
      Participant

      Hi Selfridges and welcome,

      The helpline should be able to tell you of services in your local area, and also your local domestic abuse service will have a list of abuse-specialist organisations who provide therapy. My GP had a list of local therapists and counsellors, and I found others when I did a google search. If you do a search for ‘abuse specialist therapist’ in your area it should come up with some to start with. Then work to get one you feel comfortable with. I think it’s quite positive that therapist turned you away because in the long run it wastes your time and money getting therapy from someone who doesn’t have the right skills or mindset to help you. She might have experienced abuse herself and not currently be able to handle it, or any other number of reasons. The important thing is to keep looking, you will find the right one. In the mean time there are a lot of good books on healing from abuse you could try while you search which will set you off on the right path to recovery.

    • #50063
      fridges
      Participant

      Hello SunshineRain flower,
      Thank you very much for your advice, I will call them and ask for their recommendation for therapy.
      It will be very interesting to hear from the women in this community how they take steps to heal? and their tips on recovery? What helps them personally?

    • #50070
      SunshineRainflower
      Participant

      You will find a lot of good support in the forum, lots of great women who have been through terrible traumas and come out the other side, stronger and now able to help others. There are lots of different things that can help but what has helped me is:

      – A support group (as long as you feel validated in the group)
      – A good outreach worker
      – A good counsellor/therapist who understands the dynamic of abuse
      – Talking to others who understand ie in support groups, forums and any friends who get it
      – Excercise, for me it is walking, yoga, dancing, swimming
      – Creative outlets to get out all the thoughts and emotions like writing poetry, writing a journal,
      painting, writing songs etc
      – Music
      – Youtube videos from people who have experienced abuse and now help others
      – Relevant books (Why Does he Do That by Lundy Bancroft, Living with the Dominator, Psychopath Free (if you believe your ex was psychopathic) and books on healing from trauma, abuse and how to maintain healthy boundaries
      – Massage therapy with a good non-triggering massage therapist
      – Baths and other self pampering treats
      – Being outside in nature, gardening
      – Meditation, yoga 🙂

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