This topic contains 5 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  ssid 2 weeks, 2 days ago.

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  • #87939
     teatime 
    Participant

    Me and my partner moved because I lost my job and home . I am an abuse survivor. I thought it was lovely at first but I do not know what to do now.
    The neighbour downstairs is noisy. She has loud sex with some man that just comes in very late and leaves soon after. This is 1-2 times a week but it wakes us up and makes me all jumpy. I have two quite serious chronic illnesses.. The rest of the time she makes a lot of general noise, talking very loudly etc.
    We complained to the landlord about the night time noise. I think she is probably very thick skinned and would not care or be embarrassed. I have not heard back yet. I asked my partner to deal with it.
    The first time I hear them having sex I was actually so upset that I yelled..
    All the other people are fairly quiet here, I really feel like I picked the wrong flat.
    It was so traumatic moving home, but feel like I need to move again. I am a really quiet person and noise upsets me… but wherever we can afford to rent it will be noisy I should think. We can’t afford this as it is.
    I was in my other place so long, a lifetime. I loved it because it was quiet. I miss the garden and my humble life there. I am crying as I write this.
    I feel so homesick and I can’t go home. I feel ashamed too, my partner did his best for me and I do not like the place. I think the walls are made of cardboard and I feel so brittle and broken.

  • #87962
     Escapee 
    Participant

    Hi teatime,

    It’s sounds like you’re having a really tough time 😔.

    Could your Dr help?? Xxxx

  • #88047
     fizzylem 
    Participant

    Hi Teatime, give yourself a bit of time to get used to it; sounds like you loved your last home and havent come to terms with the move yet. It may be that it is noisy and you’ll want to move again at some point, but it may be that wherever you go it wont come out on top when you compare it to the last place. It’s different and there may well be some good reasons why you both chose this place – perhaps you will make it work when you feel ready. Be with how you feel, process it and try to find a way to say goodbye to your old place if you can, resolve these feelings, because then you might beable to free yourself up to making a go of this place? Good luck with it. I find earplugs a godsend sometimes x

  • #97534
     teatime 
    Participant

    I am using earplugs and also I got a pink noise machine which cancels night noise. Its very good for my anxiety. Sometimes I just put it on as I like the whooshy sound.Its a bit better. She just seems noisy at the weekend mainly fingers crossed.

  • #97597
     fizzylem 
    Participant

    This is good news TT, you sound alot better, sounds like you feel you’re managing it now. Neighbours can be great when you all get along, respect and tolerate one another, even help one another from time to time, but hell when not x

  • #97599
     ssid 
    Participant

    I have the same teatime. I do feel for you when you say that it brought you to tears writing down how much you missed and loved your old place and garden for the peace you had there. I feel the same too.

    I know some of this noise intolerance is me, but some is not.

    I wouldnt want to speak to anyone about it either for fear it will just make things worse.

    I am wondering about your whooshy machine. The thiught of it makes me jumpy! Also though, I wonder if it actually could be a really helpful thing. I also have a ‘sounds’ app, so I might have a look for whooshy sound on it. I keep forgetting these things to help me!

    Im so glad you have found something that helps you so much. Stick with it. If you’re anything like me it takes a long time for some noises to become part of adapting to tour new environment and them being tuned out. I don’t know about the sex, thats oretty offensive to have to listen to others at it, especially when someone’s had harmful sexual experiences. I would want to bang the wall, then its very obvious you can hear. If, though, like you say they are very thick skinned that won’t make a difference.

    I hope it improves for you.

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