New to server, nightmares about the past.

[RedMoonlight]

Hello everyone,
I am RedMoonlight and I am new to this forum.
I was wondering if anyone else struggled with nightmares after leaving an abusive family behind, or better, my mother and I left my father and it’s been (detail removed by moderator) but I still have these awful nightmares sometimes. What happens usually is I wake up feeling so terrible, it’s a constant reminder of the feelings I had throughout the time I spent with him. He is a drunk, he did touch me inappropriately a couple of times, he hit my mum a few times and he was verbally and psychologically abusive,for so many years and since I was born I don’t remember having a “normal relationship” with my father. Now that we left it’s like these dreams, where I see him treat me like he used to, are a constant reminder of the past. I am trying to heal, but waking up feeling scared, mad, anxious and just overall overwhelmed is just draining.
Does anyone have a similar experience or just has some stuggestions? Thank you so much for taking the time to read and eventually respond.
Stay safe,
RedMoonlight.

[Lisa]

Hello RedMoonlight,

Thank you for sharing your experience with us, these nightmares sound so distressing and traumatic. It sounds like it feels as if you are still not free of your fathers abuse as you mention these dreams are a constant reminder, that must be really difficult for you.

I can hear in your post that you have been through so much, have you ever been able to access any emotional support or counselling with what you’ve experienced? If you feel that this is something you might want to consider, you can find details of professional private counsellors in your area via the Counselling Directory: https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/

Hopefully others will be here soon to offer some more advice and support.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[ISOPeace]

Hi RedMoonlight, I haven’t had nightmares but I have seen posts on here about people having nightmares. I don’t think you can search the posts (I haven’t worked out how to anyway) but it might be worth having a look through posts on the life after an abusive relationship board. I know it will be posts from people who’ve experienced abuse from a partner, but there are lots of similarities about the different types of abuse.

I have heard people say that when you’re experiencing abuse, you body/mind is in survival mode. When you escape to safety your body/mind starts to let go and you feel things that you have previously had to suppress. It sounds like a really difficult time for you when you probably expected to feel so much better. Healing takes time and it’s probably a good idea to get help from a counsellor/therapist. You could ask your GP for medication to help while you’re feeling so overwhelmed – although medication won’t do the healing for you, it can give you the mental/emotional space to do the healing. There may be support groups in your area. My experience is with partner abuse, so I don’t know how different the support services are for familial abuse, but I would expect they are similar. You may find reading about abuse helps make sense of things, but be aware that you may find descriptions of abuse difficult to read and even triggering. Sending lots of love xxxx

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