New to the Forum

[SimoneR]

Hi All,

Im a newbie, my story is a long and complicated one, its been almost (detail removed by moderator) years since I left him, I never reported him at the time to protect my 2 daughters. Fast forward (detail removed by moderator) years and his second wife takes her own life. Enough is enough, I go to the police to report it (I didn’t get as far as a statement) and my eldest daughter who lives with him (A decision she made aged (detail removed by moderator) after he brainwashed her that life would be so much better living with him) has not spoken to me since earlier this year as she says its all lies and wants nothing to do with me unless I retract everything i’ve said to the police (Something I will never do as he has blood on his hands as far as i’m concerned)

I held off on the police investigation due to her having her exams and now she has finished I am wanting to go back and make a formal statement. Like many of you on here (I have read some of the posts) I dont know if just reporting it will be enough closure for me, im not sure if I could go through with the whole court process.

I’m (detail removed by mderator) weeks into therapy for PTSD and feeling quite a bit stronger….

I would really like to hear from anyone who has been through the reporting/making a statement to the police journey and if you could advise me of what happens next etc…

Thanks for reading

[iwillbeok]

Hi SR,

I reported and had my ex husband arrested while still in the relationship – it all happened so quickly. So, I don’t have any experience of reporting historical abuse, sorry.

But I just wanted to say hi and welcome. There are others on here who have reported later, hopefully they will have some wisdom for you.

Iwillbeok x

[KIP.]

Hi, my child said exactly the same thing about retracting my statements etc. It’s so painful when they are used in this way by these men. Just more proof of their abusive nature that they would involve their children. Like you, I have limited contact now with my young adult child.

I was nearly driven to suicide by abuse. I read that 30 women per day in the U.K. attempt suicide because of abuse and 2 per week succeed. I was nearly one of those statistics. I reported the historical abuse to the police. Women’s Aid and victims support and rape Crisis are great support if you need to speak to anyone first. The police took my statements seriously. Please speak to the domestic abuse unit. They investigated his past including previous and current partners. They took me seriously and I was never doubted. It gave me closure in the sense that I’ve told the police everything. It’s over to them now and out of my hands. Hope this helps and I do not regret doing it. He destroyed my mental health and I have no doubt continued to do the same to other women. If he’s been reported before then your statements may make all the difference. It’s not your word against his anymore. It would be interesting to see his dead wife’s medical records if she had mental health problems whilst with him. Good luck. Personal message me if you like as this is a public forum and we have to be careful not to identify ourselves x

[SimoneR]

Thank you, I have never spoken to anyone else who has dealt with any of this before so hoping for some advice and support.

Thanks x

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