New to the forum (detail removed by moderator) Constantly Accused

[Serenity1]

I cannot begin to describe how I am feeling. To put this is words is difficult as there is so much.!from my experience you do not feel heard, listen to or understood. My child has been (detail removed by moderator) for a while for the worst part I have been alienated from her and didn’t see her for a very long time. I was suffering with my mental health reached out for support. I have been relying on services to make safe decisions for my child as it has been taken out of my hands I describe the process to still be very traumatic. My child is beeing used as a pawn and I am extremely concerned she is as risk of significant harm in her current caregivers care. The poilce disregarded my concerns they have told me time and time again I (detail removed by moderator) and there is nothing they can do.! it doesn’t meet the remit of the law.! despite showing them evidence that I am being harassed constantly being wrongly accused of harming my daughter emotionally physically and sexually. I am shocked and horrified Although I have recently started over night contact I am being accused on a weekly basis. Everything I am accused of they do! I am in a position ware I do not feel safe whatsoever worries about what allegation will be made next. The Smear campaign is relentless!
Berated, denigrated, falsey accused, all at detriment of my daughter who is innocent. Honestly there is so much more I could write here. I just don’t no ware turn it’s taking its toll on me mentally takes so much of my time writing emails to solicitor, unpicking fabrications that has been made to services my daughter is picking up on traits o feel largely unsupported by the legal system . There may not yet be any physical abuse YET! however how bad does it need to get I would be Greatful for any advice from anyone with similar experience

[Wants To Help]

Hi Serenity1,

There’s not much I can offer that will actually help you, only to say that my abuser also (detail removed by moderator) to further ‘punish’ me and continue with abuse. (detail removed by moderator) but there is still a long way to go with it yet.

The only thing that kept me going was knowing that my abuser’s (detail removed by moderator) was designed to break me to the point of suicide so that he would get sole custody. Knowing that was his plan was what kept me fighting, and there were times when it wasn’t easy and I nearly went back to him to stop it all. However, I knew that to go back or to give up would have harmed my son going forward in the long run as for my ex to be the only parent responsible for his upbringing would have been so damaging.

I KNOW from personal experience how hard this is for you. Try and get a support network of good people around you, positive people who can offer friendship outside the scope of the ongoing legal stuff who can try and ensure you have happy times that are focused on anything but the ongoing process. This process totally consumes our whole life until it reaches a point of being ‘over’. Give your child the best time you can when you are with them, and don’t feel guilty about trying to give yourself the best life you can when you are without them. Try and build yourself a happy lifestyle that you can bring your child in to and they can come back to ‘your world’ that is a totally different world from when they are with their father.

Keep fighting on, there may be days when you have to stop and regain the strength, but carry on doing your best for what you believe is right xx

[maddog]

A few more resources: Rights of Women, Centre for Women’s Justice, The Court Said, Justice for Women.

You’re absolutely not alone. School, Women’s Aid, your GP, to mention a few, will be able to support and guide you. The Domestic Abuse helpline on 101 should be able to guide you to more local services as well.

[Serenity1]

Thank you wants to help
For your support, hope and courage. It sounds like you have brought some order into your life despite the “chaos” it’s amazing to hear you are strengthening yourself despite what you are going through you will be in my prayers . I have also learnt I am not willing to loose myself self care, self love is the most important gift. I can be the sane stable parent for my daughter as much as I can. Thankfully I am accessing services outside of the legal system the freedom programme has been a massive support. I have some amazing people around me who have loved me supported me. I have learnt this may go and on but we only have to deal with it “one day at a time “. When I separate myself from the “crazy making” the “reacting seeking behaviour” I can find some peace. When I view from the lens that that is a sick person with no self, no remorse, no feelings or consideration for others it’s only a mask in fact it’s all reacting seeking behaviour because they despise themselves What a sad existence. My my main concern is The less time the children spend time the better as my daughter is picking up on traits that are concerning it’s challenging to unpick.? Have you had this experience.? I guess when you are dealing with stuff there is just no magic wand quick fix “I can only do my best” have faith.
Wishing you all the best on your journey recovering take care of you the most important relationship you we will have

Thanks Maddod for the useful info

[Author]

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