new to this, advice please.

[chocolatefudgecake]

I have recently been involved in an attack and need help and advice from others who have been in that situation themselves.
Im new to this so please bear with me, well im start from the top.

I met a guy a while back and thought things were going well as he was all loving and sweet, that was just over text aswell, we had been speaking for well over a month and things were looking up, then we decided to meet. This wasnt a bad thing as we had told each other pretty much everything, so there were no secrets or which i thought.
So we met, hit it off straight away. Spent time talking more and more, it was going really well. Obviously i warned him about a sad family occasion which was happening over the weekend, he said he was fine with it and wanted to support me hence why he came to see me earlier, it was lovely he was so supporting and loving.

Then a couple of days later things took a turn for a worse, he was beeing quiet, clenching his fists and just beeing very moody. Alarm bells started to ring and i asked him to leave and was angry aswell, so that he went to do, i stupidly tried to stop him and thats when we ended up in a little rough and tumble.i ended up on the floor he ended up on the street.

I didnt think nothing of the bruises that appearered on my body, i was feeling low, i missed him stupidly. Then something just clicked and i phoned 101, im now waiting on news.

Its seriously knocked my confidence, i feel like its all my fault.

[Healthyarchive]

Dear Chocolatefudgecake, use this opportunity to get rid of him. The red flags are blowing loud & clear, to be having a fight this early on and to have bruises doesn’t bode well at all. I had red flags from date two, I met my ex online & we were chatting over text & email for a while like you. He was smooth, charming & said things I wanted to hear. But his contact was too full on & too much, i didn’t like it. But he guilt tripped me into meeting him saying he had allready brought tickets for the cinema. If he hadn’t have said that I was considering cancelling our date as he was OTT. He turned up late, I was not impressed & was just about to leave just as he came along. I gave it a chance, during the first 3 months he was so full on i felt suffocated, I should have ended it then but he told me I was his soulmate! If this happens to me again I will end it very early at the first sign of trouble. If you don’t you will endure months or years of torture which is extremely difficult to break free from. X*X

[Savingmyself]

Hi Hun
I was thinking about this today if I ever meet someone to date . I will want to go very slow as how do we even know who they are , a man clenching his fists

[Savingmyself]

Who you hardly even know is very very scary and dangerous
Please Do not let him back in your house.
I will want to do a lot of checks on a new man before I let them into my home or life.
Big hugs choc x*x

[chocolatefudgecake]

Thank you for the replies.

I have zero contact with this guy as i have blocked him on social media and i have deleted his number. The thought of talking to him again makes me feel sick.
I really should of seen the warning signs and red flags but he made me truly believe he had changed, he was very loving but also very moody and when the mood changed i never knew what to say or do, its like it was my fault.

Like yourself healthyarchive he said i was his everything and he wanted to plan his future with me. The love word did appear very early on.

I have now become very weary of men and struggle to make eye contact with the good looking ones, i just feel as if i need to hide behind a wall when im around them

X*X

[Author]

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