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    • #61185
      Skittles
      Participant

      Abuse started weeks after i married my ex, he would pin me to a wall, through things at me, throw hot food in my face, pin me to the bed with his knees in my back making me unable to move, smashing my phone up so i couldnt contact anyone, shutting me in a room until i got on my knees and begged and said sorry (still unsure what i was apologising too), hed call me everything under the sun, and even abuse my cat, strangeling him, dangling him from the windows, and even attempting to suffocate him (i can still see his lil face).. then he invited a stranger round who he’d known for (Detail removed by Moderator) to fet drunk, his “friend” then strangelled me whilst my ex watched.. i ended up turning to drink and self harm, hoping someone would notice and help me, no one ever did, i thought many times about running away or ending my life, but the thought of leaving my family would stop me, this continued for (Detail removed by Moderator) years until i had the strength to speak to a colleague, i moved out (Detail removed by Moderator) weeks later and into my mums, she proceeded to tell me he probably didnt do anything wrong and i should mive back in with him.. divorce lasted 5+ years until it was long enough to do it for the 5yr seperation as i didnt want to face him in court, (Detail removed by Moderator) years on im now married to some one new, who would never lay a hand on me, i cant talk to him about it or anyone as i feel they wont understand or think im stupid, these last few weeks ive found it hard to deal with it, i still think about running away or ending my own life by jumping in front of a train (as selfish as it seems, but it always crosses my mind when im at the station) but i cant leave my husband, he means the world to me, i think i need help 😢

    • #61187
      KIP.
      Participant

      It’s positive that you are in a place where you recognise you need help. Have you had counselling. Proper counselling can really help. My local women’s aid were very helpful in validating my experiences. Maybe start with your GP and ask to be referred for specialist domestic abuse counselling. Suicide still crosses my mind, I think it’s a by product of abuse. I would never give him the satisfaction. I can just imagine him saying see I told you she was crazy and acting even more like the victim. My ex used to punch kick and throw my dog too. They seem to get a thrill from this, seeing us hysterical while abusing defenceless animals. I reported my ex to the police and it gave me a certain amount of closure. I took back some of the power he had. The helpline number on here is great to begin with. Hang in there x

    • #61190

      You are still here Skittles and welcome to this forum. Keep posting hon.
      the lovely ladies on here have much to offer with solidarity, info and support
      ftc
      x

    • #61194
      Skittles
      Participant

      Thankyou for the reply kip, im thinking about going to the councelling dept at the place i work, i just need the courage to do, its not nice when they abuse animals, he says its because he didnt want it in the 1st place, i ended up giving my cat to another loving family, just wished id left with my cat, im sorry he did that to your dog, hope its ok? And hope your ok too? X

      • #61195
        Skittles
        Participant

        Thankyou for being so kind ftc, think this is the best place for me x

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