25th February 2020 at 1:28 pm #98407MentallydrainedParticipant
I don’t even know where to start
The last couple of months have been hell, it started with lies, cheating then once I moved into my own place and out of my parents that’s when it all started to come out and I was seeing the real him (ex) he was mentally draining me, accusing me of cheating, lied to me about so much of who he said he was because at the start he was a dream come true, I couldn’t believe my luck he was caring, loving, treated me like a princess. Told me he loved me all the time and he lied about he’s past. Once in my own place he started changing.. then one night hw just turned and was being so verbally awful and wouldn’t leave so I called the police to have him removed.. he come back the next day and we sorted it. (detail removed by moderator) Then we was rowing one night and he slammed the door into my stomach which left me cramping and left a black bruise… and then that evening forced me to cancel my plans even though he was going to(detail removed) but promised to be back so after I cancelled my plans (detail removed)
He signed up to dating websites after he proposed to me, he admitted to cheating once but denied the rest even though I knew. (detail removed by moderator) He blames me for everything he blames me for he’s action. (detail removed). He knew he was planning on leaving me (detail removed) so because he broke up with me the night before he thought that if I went out I would sleep with someone and he couldn’t handle that so he emotionally drained me to the point I stayed home and that way he knew We always had a sexual relationship but the last (detail removed) weeks we have had sex twice and both times felt forced.(detail removed) Once he left (detail removed) he creates a new fb and so it’s all pictures from him at the gym and he’s alreasy been talking to girls, he’s got loads of girls on fb and he’s been talking to them already he has completely cut me off like me and my son doesn’t exist. He isn’t my sons real dad but he was the next best thing he even called him dad and then after he leaves he says I think it’s best I don’t see both of tou. He already has 2 kids from previous relationship but they are in care, he said he’s exs were vile to him and emotionally and physically abused him but it was the other way round. He played a nice guy act cause after my ex before him I just wanted to be with someone nice and so he pretended for long to be that person. My ex before he cheated on me and then raped me. But I will save that for a different day. I’ve been struggling everyday since I haven’t eaten I haven’t slept. I can’t bare to be in the flat cause it reminds me so much of him so I’ve been staying at my parents and everyday my heart beats so hard, my stomach is in constant knots I’m really struggling. Mentally I am feeling really ill, how can he abuse me emotionally making me out to be the bad one but at the same time pour he’s heart out and tell me how much he loves me then mentally abuse me then leave then forget I exist and move on already? It’s not fair I’m so frustrated and low
25th February 2020 at 8:33 pm #98433LisaMain Moderator
Hi there Mentallydrained, welcome to the forum, I hope you will find it a supportive place. I am sorry to hear about everything that you have been through and how you are feeling. Unfortunately, it’s very common for domestic abuse to escalate in the way you describe in your post, your ex-partner was abusive to you in so many ways and he sounds dangerous. It is important to remember that you are not responsible for the abuse. The abuser is always responsible for the abuse and their actions.
It is understandable that you are struggling to come to terms with the domestic abuse that you have experienced. I would encourage you to get as much support in place as possible. Your local domestic abuse service should be able to offer some ongoing emotional support. You could also get some support via the Live Chat. If you haven’t already done so, you could talk to your GP about how you are feeling.
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