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    • #64609

      It’s been a few months since I escaped from coercive relationship. Together for over a decade and he wouldn’t let me work. So now with this long gap in my CV trying to get a job.

      Tomorrow I have an interview. My first and I am really nervous. It’s an admin job. I am a people person. A good communicator. I know this. But my office skills have got to be out of date. I scared of going blank. The interview process is scary enough, but there’s also some kind of exercise – test before hand, which has me in a panic. It would be so easy to just not go. I have chickened out before. And that was only a taster volunteer day in the red cross. I hated myself afterwards. Not just for letting them down, but I let myself down. I have just lost all my confidence. I do suffer with anxiety. But this is something I have to overcome, or I’ll never be able support myself. Don’t know what I’m going to do.

    • #64622

      Hello Gemma,
      Just wanted to say a few hopefully encouraging words.
      Well done if you go.
      Understandable if you don’t feel ready.
      Perhaps there is a middle way for you.
      Baby steps. Try to pat yourself on the back for whatever you do.
      I came across an organisation called No Panic which might be helpful for you. You can Google it.
      all best

      • #64682

        Hi Freedom and Dustypink

        Thank you for your replies. I did go. I had a couple of scary moments. Like forgetting my glasses lol fortunately I was early and was able to message my daughter in law, who found them and brought them to me.

        The test was maths based. My weakest thing. But I managed to stay calm and completed the task. To my surprise I actually got it right. I was so relieved to get that out the way, I wasn’t as nervous about the actual interview bit. So every cloud has a silver lining lol.

        Loads have gone for this job. So I don’t think I will get it. But to be honest, just doing the interview was a massive challenge for me..and I did it!!! So I am proud of myself. And it’s given me confidence moving forward. So whatever happens, I feel like a winner. 😁

        Thank you for listening to me. Your words of encouragement helped a lot. X*x

    • #64657

      I am also trying to find a job after almost a decade at home. But I was doing something all this time, mostly bying-selling.
      I would suggest you to go on interviews as much as you can. This could be your target.
      Also you may check for some courses, even online. I’ve done a few, this really helps.
      And contact your local support group. My local DV group helps women with employment.
      Volunteering is also an option, but I left it for the last option )
      Think about what was you doing at home, which skills did you use? Project management? Communication? Organizing events etc?

      A lot of depends on how you sell yourself during the interview, how confident you are. But the only way to improve this – to go on interviews as much as possible )

    • #64727

      Hi Gemma, not sure how long ago since you posted this line but I just wanted to say congratulations on going to the interview. You have every right to be extremely proud of yourself. I’m so happy for you and so inspired by your achievements. There’s hope for us all I guess 😊
      Keep up the good work! Love and respect ❤️

    • #65142

      Hello everyone.. I just wanted to share some good news with you. The interview I attended went well and I was invited back for a second one as I had made the shortlist. I can’t tell you how pleased I was. And I am so proud to say I was offered the job. I HAVE A JOB!!!!

      I still can’t quite believe it. I really never thought I would get it. So many applied, and it had been over (Detail removed by Moderator) years since I last worked. I was asked about why I had such a long employment gap. I was honest but kept it brief. I simply made it clear that my sole focus was on moving forward. Making a good useful life for myself. Do to everyone out there who is in the same position I was in. Believe in yourself and others will too. You are stronger then you think. Most manipulative, controling and n**********c abusive partners are drawn to that strength. They need us far more than we need them.

      Thank you for your support you are all amazing!!!

    • #65143

      Congratulations 🎉🥂🍾🛫

    • #65148
      White Rose

      Lovely news! I’m really happy for you x

    • #65160
      lover of no contact

      Well done Gemma, good luck in your new job and well done for taking the action to get one.

    • #65162

      jolly well done, hope for the rest of us, well done for carrying the torch hon…

    • #65202

      Thank you all so much for your lovely kind words of support and congratulations. It means so much.

      I feel so fortunate and still can’t quite believe I’ve got it. Now I am nervous about starting lol. I am having lots of positive self-talks with myself. You know the kind of thing “you can do it. They believe you can do this, so, so should you”. I guess everyone feels like this, when starting a new job don’t they? It’s just for me it’s been so long.

    • #65208
      Main Moderator

      Congratulations Gemma! Thank you for sharing your good news with us, it is brilliant to hear!

      It is natural to feel nervous; believe in yourself!

      I wish you the best of luck.

      Best wishes,


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