Viewing 4 reply threads
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    • #12550
      Kaza
      Participant

      I need help and other members advice on staying strong with the no contact rule. I cant seem to block his number but dont know why. I hate myself for it. Shall I block it and take it one day at a time. How can I make myself strong enough to do this. I was also years ago diagnosed with dependent personality traits, which makes it even harder for me. I have done so well, climbing the mountain but need help for the final bit. Advise would be appreciated.

    • #12551
      Ayanna
      Participant

      Can you change your number? You can ring your mobile provider to do that. That way he cannot call you ever again. If you block him he might use a different number to contact you.

    • #12554
      lover of no contact
      Participant

      Google ‘the No Contact Rules’ for dealing with narcissists etc. I find they strengthen and encourage me to maintain No Contact.

      I try to remember that my abuser is are like poison, so any contact with him is like me ingesting poison. And sure enough, after any direct contact with him (or indirect contact with him via a third party eg family member or friend) my mind and emotions become all messed up and my life becomes unmanageable.

      Toxic, negative and poisonous are our abusers to us. As lethal as any toxic drug.

      Cold turkey (no contact with them) is hard, withdrawal from them is agonizing (but with time it gets easier).

      I found marking on a calendar the days I kept No Contact with my abuser very helpful. Day 1, day 2, then 3 etc. Satisfying to see the rows of days I managed to go no contact.

      When we go no contact we become stronger and they become weaker (less powerful). No Contact strengthens us and weakens them.

      You’re doing great. One day at a time. Sometimes one hour at a time when the ‘man pain’ gets bad.

    • #12605
      Kaza
      Participant

      Thank you for your replies and lover of not contact that was especially useful. I am going to mark in my diary each day of no contact. You are right it is like a toxic drug. I will google that no contact with n********t rules, as I truly believe my ex was a n********t. I am trying to get into my brain that he does not love anyone and he is trying the drawing me in stage. I just find it unbelievably hard to not answer the phone as I feel like I want to keep tabs on his whereabouts.

      Thank you for your help

    • #12610
      Hopesprings
      Participant

      Hey hun. Well done on getting this far. No contact is really difficult. I too look at it like a drug addiction I had a slight relapse recently when I looked at his profile but I am getting there again. Changing my number was the best thing I could have done and also deleting social media.

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