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    • #8216
      CutieSunshine
      Participant

      After no contact I receive an email from my ex and this is what it said : (Detail removed by Moderator)

      I don’t know why I got called a cheat or any of those things. I did not reply . our son has not mentioned his name once in the past month I think he had also had enough of him.
      Has anyone else had to stop contact with children and if so was the courts supportive.

    • #8227
      Savingmyself
      Participant

      Hi Hun
      He was more likely to be talking about him self
      Well done for not replying to his
      nonsense
      I don’t know much about contact but I think that they do listen to what your child wants
      Big hugs x*x

    • #8229
      CutieSunshine
      Participant

      I wanted to reply , he also went on about how I had asked if he was messaging a girl last time we was together because the name was short for many girl names he had it saved under in his phone but I did not get a normal reaction he acted like a psycho when questioned and I was very scared and I can not believe he is still going on about this now. I just hope that if he does take me to court I get some support and understanding as he will try his hardest to make out everything is my fault.

    • #8230
      Savingmyself
      Participant

      Hi Cutie
      The best thing you can do is go no contact on him
      He is a cheat and he is trying to project it on to you my ex was just the same
      Cheating on me and accusing me
      He has brought up the other girl just to try and upset you and make u
      You start thinking about it all over again it called triangulation
      They enjoy all of this nonsense
      The only way to upset them is to not answer them
      Call the helpline if he wants to take you to court as they will now what support you can get
      I hope if you ignore him he will just leave you alone
      Big hugs x*x

    • #8235
      CutieSunshine
      Participant

      Thank you. I will ring them today as I feel like I am not coping at all , I feel so hurt like someone has died or something.

    • #9081
      SaharaD
      Participant

      Hi

      Just wanted to say to keep that email as evidence as to why you may need to change the child contact arrangements if you ever have to go to court, mediation or show social services.

      If I was a mum I would build a dossier on his abuse. Every email, text, letter, verbal recording, police incident numbers and make a diary note of anything abusive he has done. Then plonk it on the table in front of the authorities.

      A non-molestation order might help too. To get one contact the NCDV, National Centre for Domestic Violence http://www.ncdv.org.uk/ , Phone: 0800 970 2070, Text: NCDV to 60777 and they will call back. They were great at helping me even though I didn’t have enough evidence of recent contact.

    • #9150
      CutieSunshine
      Participant

      Thank you for your advice. I have kept lots of emails , screen shot text and took photos over the last couple of years. He has left me alone now for a week and I have changed my mobile number but if he does take me to court I can show it all as I just want to protect my son now . I don’t think he will take me court as he knows people will find out exactly what sort of man he is. He seems to target single mothers making them think he has a nice home to offer and flash car , i just wonder how long it will be before his new girlfriend starts getting the verbal abuse. . It will take me a long time to get over how I’ve been treated and what his put me through and he can just move on within a few days to another woman after spending so long with me. This morning my heart feels like a weight in my chest , I don’t even want to get out of bed 🙁

    • #9157
      Savingmyself
      Participant

      Hi cutie
      Our stories are very similar
      my ex is with a women now for a few years he is still on his best behaviour with her to her face. He was violent in all ways with me but not her
      But he is cheating on her and lying to her and that is abuse .so they carry on abusing but in what way it will work on their next victim . He has text me the last 2 days begging for me to go be with him . She must be busy or is getting fed up with him . I have not replied
      They have women lined up at all times to chase or to go back to
      My guess is the new women your ex is with was around somewhere already that’s how they operate .

      There are a few sites that helped me very much to understand please take a look it will help you feel a lot better
      Baggage reclaim
      Its all about him
      Pychopathfree free
      Chump lady

      Look after you and be gentle with your self it’s them not us
      Big hugs x*x

    • #9160
      CutieSunshine
      Participant

      Your right , he was always telling me how loads of woman wanted him and I was like well how do you know ? Everytime I picked his mobile up it was full of messages from girls he said was only friends. I just thought he would have more respect for me as I had his child but these men are so self centred they don’t care who they hurt .

    • #9162
      Savingmyself
      Participant

      Hi Hun
      Yes exactly that a child makes no difference to them it’s more like they feel they have you where they want you
      If you look up triangulation they love to play women off against each other There is lots on that subject at psychopathfree web site take a look as you will be shocked to see our story there over and over its not even personal to us
      it’s them and how how they are
      We have had a very lucky escape to have gotten away from them
      They do not mean us any good
      Big hugs x*x

    • #9165
      CutieSunshine
      Participant

      Big hugs to you too !
      Things will get better won’t they ? It is hard to imagine the hurt ever going away xx

    • #9166
      CutieSunshine
      Participant

      I will look this stuff up on the Internet xx

    • #9167
      Savingmyself
      Participant

      Hey Hun
      It will get better but it’s very early days for you . Because I have gone no contact I can see more clearly for what it really is and ask myself why would I want a man like that in my life . He has nothing to offer me and he sure is not worth fighting over
      You will turn a corner it just takes time
      If I wrote down all the abuse and any good stuff it’s about 100 abuse /3 good
      And I have just found my feeling towards him have turned off . I can’t give my body to him and it means nothing at all to him but a conquest
      humiliating me like he has won my prize and then go back to sleeping with the other women . He will have to find someone else to cheat with as its not going to be me . It’s like I am respecting me now and I can’t let him disrespect me any more . It would just start the hurt all over again .
      Thanks for my hugs x*x

    • #9170
      Confused123
      Participant

      Hi Hun

      Good on u for keeping logs of everything and yes totally continuing ignoring him, they just need to get a reaction out of us thats all it is , continue getting support where u need it

    • #9177
      CutieSunshine
      Participant

      I am going to stay at my parents next week, just told them I need their support even tho I am in (detail removed by Moderator) they find it hard to believe I need help and I am going to start the anti depressants when I am there so hopefully we give me a break to build myself up to feel strong again . The group has really helped me , if otters can do it, I can too !!! Xxxx

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