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    • #46359
      Buddy
      Participant

      Hi , as previously mentioned I’ve the years of my marriage , my husband has sporadically thrown things in his temper ! Never touched me!!
      Althougj on a recent holiday when drunk attacked my dad! My dad wants nothing more to do with him!
      I am still with him at home with the children and struggling to come to terms with what has happened with my dad ! I have started to take anti depressants because I have really bad anxiety and can’t really look at my husband the same way! We are currently putting our house on the market as our mortgage is too big and I am thinking maybe when it sells I will have the strength to then leave him and rent! He has started to go for anger management ! I can’t say he scares me , but I don’t know if I should stay or go ! I am scared as he is such a good husband and father , does his fair share of house stuff , works hard etc. I may be making a big mistake! I currently have no motivation to get up in the morning and sleeping a lot!

    • #46360
      KIP.
      Participant

      Hey there. Please ring the helpline number on here. He is not a good husband and father. Good husbands don’t abuse their wives. Don’t throw things, definitely don’t assault their father in laws and don’t treat their wives so badly they need medication for mental health issues. Good fathers do not abuse the mother of their children. Or the grandfather of their children. Your judgement is very clouded by his abuse. Grab this opportunity of selling the house and getting your own place. I know it sounds daunting but abusers never change and now is your chance to cut financial legal ties too with the mortgage x don’t tell him of your plans. Talk to women’s aid for a safety plan x

    • #46364
      Buddy
      Participant

      Ok , Thank u for your reply ! I do feel very confused and not very strong ATM , hoping when the medication kicks in I will be stronger!! I will go to my local woman’s aid on Monday for a chat x

    • #46366
      KIP.
      Participant

      Well done for seeking help. It’s very hard to comprehend abuse when you’re stuck in the middle of it. The helpline is available 24 hours on here if you have time to ring them x I was on medication for years before I realised that the medication was treating the symptoms not the cause. The cause was a nasty dysfunctional selfish self centred opinionated violent abuser who eroded my self confidence and my self esteem and tried to estrange me from friends and family at every opportunity. Life is so much better now I’m free. You deserve better too x

    • #46469
      Buddy
      Participant

      Hi , I went to my local woman’s aid and had a chat ! They confirmed it was domestic abuse and I still can’t get my head around this!
      My husband is currently going to anger management , so my thoughts at this moment are to sit this out and see what happens !
      Although I am struggling to be civil to him after what happened with my dad !
      When we spoke tonight gut I mentioned his behaviour as n the past has been very intimidating , he asked me to count how many times he has thrown things in our (detail removed by Moderator) year relationship and I came up with (detail removed by Moderator) times! When ch he replied is that nice a year ! So am I being over the top about this ?
      I keep googling abuse and I don’t feel what I go through is that bad or am I just in denial as it has become the norm?
      When we try to talk we never get anywhere and he keeps saying stop looking st the past , we need to go forward! How can I do this when my life won’t be the same again as my dad won’t come to the house x

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