No faith in the system

[Yellowflower]

I know I have to be careful how I explain this. I have very little faith in the system at the moment. I have made a report but it’s taking an extremely long time for the police to take any action. I keep getting told the person I need is on leave etc. Did anyone else experience this? I find it very draining how long it’s going on. How many times I’ve had to talk about it to various people. I feel like giving up I feel like just saying forget it I have no fight left in me. I’m struggling day to day with the break up… missing him… hating him… it’s such a huge mix of emotions that this uncertainty from them is not helping. I feel like I have no support from them.

[maddog]

It’s a real struggle isn’t it. I think realising the full horror of the relationship is just awful. It’s really frightening. I don’t miss my ex at all. His behaviour carries on and I have been at the end of my tether. Do you have an IDVA or ISVA to speak to? They should be able to put you in touch with people who can help.

I found the police to be very helpful. My ex is using other authorities as his flying monkeys which is terrifying and expensive and harrowing. Please keep plugging away.

[KIP.]

Please don’t give up. Contact victim support. Get them to chase things up. It’s sad to say but I found it’s whoever shouts the loudest that gets heard so make a complaint to a senior office if you’re not being heard. You have rights as a victim. One is to be kept informed.

[HopeLifeJoy]

Don’t accept the ‘person is on leave’ excuse, there is always a cover for someone on leave and if not you ask to speak to the manager.
Engage indeed more support on your side. Keep going 💪

[xpeacex]

I agree with the others, do not give up. I went court 3 times cos kept getting adjourned,I was told by a few professionals that I was showing determinating for justice. Earlier days for you but just keep showing your own determination. You deserve justice.

[EbonyRaven]

It does take a lot of time. At first, there’s this big flurry of different agencies contacting you, and having to meet/talk with this one and that one, then the other one. Suddenly that all drops away into the void and you’re left wondering what’s happening.

It’s so frustrating and dismaying. I feel for you very much.

It can take months to prepare a case, have it checked, do more things for it etc. Then maybe also have to wait for medical or mental health reports before it even goes to the CPS to be considered.

I’ve been telling myself that they are taking the time to make sure that if/when something moves ahead, the case will be well put together, and that is in my interests.

Use the time to give yourself some pampering, to start stretching your wings a little, to stand that bit taller and straighter. The wait is hard, absolutely it is but there will be an end to that tunnel.

x

[Anonymous]

I have to say that the police have gone down a lot in my estimation since I wS in an abusive relationship. It has often felt like they spent more time worrying about his feelings than one.

[Author]

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