No judgement just advice please in a bad way

[Rainbowcloud]

Hi ladies
So after I kicked him out I had (detail removed by moderator) of tantrums turning up at the House promises of change. I let him come back as you all know I’m pregnant when I really wish I wasn’t. He was great for (detail removed by moderator) weeks he came back with flowers chocolates and being really nice to me and the kids.
(detail removed by moderator) I’ve felt the tension starting up again I had told him he was abusive and controlling he promised he would change.
So I can feel tension building up and (detail removed by moderator) was my day off work and I (detail removed by moderator) was just a very busy day.
He came back from work questioning where I’ve been asking if I had been with a certain female friend as I told him I had bumped into her ((detail removed by moderator)) and I said no and he was like why didn’t you call or text me all day I don’t know what your doing or who with this is bearing in mind I’m pregnant so can’t do much of what he is implying.
I said even if I was with said friend what is the problem (detail removed by moderator) aswell and he goes nothing you can see her if you want to when he blatantly implied I’m not allowed to see her. Then he said how I made him feel not calling or texting all day it’s my day off and I was busy I explained this.
Then I told him today I’m meeting a friend and his face and he was like yes that’s fine why you asking me like you need permission like I don’t let you see friends because that’s how you make me feel that’s why.
Then he started going on about my phone how I message all night which is a lie I message now and again as always at work so don’t see my mom or family very much. Then he’s lime I don’t know who your messaging on that phone and basically created a very bad atmosphere last night. Also since I’ve been pregnant he’s really pressuring me sexually and asks for it everyday of the week and I don’t want to do it especially with him. It’s lien he thinks he owns my body now that’s how it feels and then last night he’s like let’s go to bed and do this when we was barely speaking so I pulled a face and he’s like yeah I know you don’t want it don’t worry I’m messing about. I can’t be close to him and hug him etc because of how he acts so I don’t go near him anymore like that because of his behaviour so he brings that up aswell.
Well it’s Saturday now he just came downstairs and glared at me never spoke and went back to bed so I’m probably in for a double dose of abuse today.
I need to have a termination but how will I do it now with him here

[Rainbowcloud]

I feel so stupid for letting him back in the house if he finds out I’ve had an abortion he will kill me I’m scared for him to find out I rang the clinic I had an appointment they kept calling to confirm and he was here so I couldn’t answer the phone or think of a good enough excuse to leave the house to take the call. I’m (detail removed by moderator) gone I need to do it soon now times ticking and I’m sure it’s a two weeks wait I’m terrified

[KIP.]

Hey, nobody will judge you here. Sadly many of us have taken them back when they have love bombed us and being pregnant makes you extra vulnerable. I’d tell him I had a miscarriage if you’re fearful of his response while you try to get rid of him from your life. It sounds like you’ve realised what’s going on here with the cycle of abuse and that roundabout gets faster until you jump off. You’re going to need support here and I’d make sure my phone is locked and you delete the number of the clinic. You can always tell him you’ve began bleeding if he gets suspicious. Contact women’s aid when you can. Can you email the clinic and explain you want the appointment but you’re in an abusive relationship and it’s not safe. Maybe after the termination you will be able to get rid of him once and for all. When we take them back we get punished for dumping them in the first place and the abuse always escalates. Can you pretend you’re ill to get a little peace n quiet or go to a relatives x

[diymum@1]

Good advice there from kip I know it’s two pills to terminate a pregnancy I’m sure it’s in the first 8 weeks so it would look like a miscarriage. After 3 months it a termination under GA. if u make a doctors appointment this week it should be ok. To be honest I would be doing the same given the circumstances xx I know someone who chose this option and she new it was the right thing she still does xx

[fizzylem]

Could quite easily be explained away as a miscarriage RC, likely due to all the stress over the last few weeks. TBH, you’ve got to do whatever you need to do here to get through. Miscarriage makes it easier for others to accept too, like your mum, what is important here is that you feel supported afterwards, you dont want to be dealing with him or others and their judgements – this would help you to set up the right kind of support you need here.

So, anyone you know will make things difficult for you – all they need to know is it was a miscarriage.

A close, trusted friend, us and support services – these people you get the emotional support you need afterwards from; as you can talk, open up freely.

It kind of makes sense to me that he is back, as you maybe feel you simply can’t deal with him and all this brings right now, that what you need to do before attempting this is attend to the termination first x

[Rainbowcloud]

I’ve rang the clinic I told them my situation I had a window of going out with my son to his weekend activity and I called in the car. I explained I am in an abusive situation and begged them to help me with an earlier appointment as I don’t want to leave it much longer in (detail removed by moderator) weeks next weeks and I want it done early less guilt that way as I know it was a heartbeat now which is so sad. I got an appointment for (detail removed by moderator) and they can give me the tablet the day after she said (detail removed by moderator) is just to scan me and medical history . I’m not going to lie I am so scared and how I will hide and will need two days off work. He’s tried to be ok now after sending me messages (detail removed by moderator) asking why I don’t love him anymore and why have I changed etc and that I just need to love him more and things will be ok. Not interested in anything he has to say anymore I can’t even meet up with my friend (detail removed by moderator) because of his disgusting abuse and control !
Still praying I lose this baby between now and then because I’m hardly eating. He’s taken my oldest son out today buying him things so annoying cos he’s never cared about buying my kids stuff he just knows I’m ok the last tether and the end is coming so will do anything at the point. Manipulating the kids buying them stuff pretending to be nice he’s not nice he’s a w****o and accusing me of sleeping with other men even questioning the dates like it’s not his child!
I wish I never had him back hoe I will hide all of this I dint know because he’s always there over my shoulder breathing down my neck I just want to be on my own

[KIP.]

You just leave tell him you started bleeding and went to docs/clinic who confirmed you miscarried and told you to take a couple days off work. Same story for work and make sure the clinic send nothing to your address.

[diymum@1]

When I was a student I saw a few of the pill induced terminations it is just like a heavy period xx you will be ok. You will need recovery time and then get a plan in place for him to go. It’s not a nice thing to face but he has put u in theses set of circumstances. At least you have a choice xx 😘 much love diymum

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