No personal space

[Swimminginafishbowl]

Does anyone else find ,there partners don’t like to give them any personal space ? My partner takes offence if I don’t sit next to him ..or sit at the opposite end of the room .I was sat next to (detail removed by moderator) ,joking around ,my partner sulked off to bed early ,then accused me of being off with him ,because I was sat next to someone else ..and then went on to accuse me of messaging a random person on my phone ..I’m just wondering if this is apart of the abuse ..why can’t he give me personal space and why so insecure ? Even if I sit next to a relative he becomes jealous.He will also follow me into every room ..if I go upstairs to our bedroom he will follow me and when I say I need some personal space he says why should I be on my own .can anyone else relate ?

[Darcy]

Hi beautiful Angel,
I can defiantly relate to what you are saying
My ex would moan if I sat on the other couch or if I went to bed earlier than him, leaving him downstairs
I even use to go to the bathroom and do yoga or just lay on a towel and meditate in there to get away from him saying I always had a bad stomach!
This level of insecurity is not normal, most people are able to understand why people need space and know that just because they do it doesn’t mean that the person does not like or love them any less … we all need space
Even our pets have enough of sitting with us a times and prefer to be on the floor!
It is very difficult in an abusive relationship because you don’t want to give the person anymore cause to become aggressive with you
I would appease my ex and then grab as much time as I could when he was pre-occupied
I always tried to remember that even if I was there physically next to him, I was not there mentally and he would never be able to control my thoughts
Sending you continued love and support
Darcy xx

[nbumblebee]

Yes mine even comes into the bathroom when im having a bath and tries to join me.
He is there all the time by my side.
Where you going what you doing who you talking too on and on. He often accuses me of having affairs if i dont answer the phone when he calls me. X

[KIP.]

They don’t respect any boundaries.

[Bananaboat]

If you had space you’d have time to think about his behaviour, his words, his actions and start to see cracks, but if he’s always there he can control you more, see what you’re doing, question you, make you feel guilty, put you on eggshells, control you with a mere look. It’s a red flag for sure especially if doing your own thing triggers a strong reaction, and in turn you’re made to feel guilty for talking to a relative, going to bed when you want to, sitting where you want to, and in turn you try not to do those things in the future so he doesn’t react…see where this is going x

[Anonymous]

Yes I knew 1 like this I’d go make tea he’d he behind me I’d go out the back for fresh air he’d be there I’d have a bath he’d be outside the door and at night he’d keep his foot on mine so he’d know if I’d got up, he ended up terrorising and stalking me after I left, it’s entitlement and boundary violations 🤗💗🤗

[Swimminginafishbowl]

Thanks for all your replies ..yes it’s so overbearing ,it’s too much ..he does that to me to ,also when I go to the toilet he will come up and start asking me questions while I’m on the toilet and stand outside the door ..every time .I’m finding myself lashing out at him now and being abusive myself ,when he’s accusing me of stuff all the time and overstepping boundaries ..then I feel guilt ..I question weather I am the hostile horrible partner ,maybe I am being over dramatic and too sensitive ?

[Anonymous]

No your not abusive your angry at persistent boundary violations and accusations, it’s suffocating, antagonistic and hurtful, your not a hostile partner cos your on the receiving end of it and your also not over dramatic or too sensitive, their behaviour would drive anyone round the twist.
🧡💜🧡

[Anonymous]

Yes I can totally relate to ur situation. Reading ur post is wat I’m living aswell. It’s so hard because they make you feel guilty. But then other hand u want our own space and be able to be you aswell
Much love x*x

[gettingtired]

Yes I can relate. Mine sulks sometimes if I don’t cuddle up to him or show affection (of course I don’t to want to be affectionate because of his behaviour) but he will also call my name from other rooms a lot and make me feel guilty for spending too long in the bathroom or doing my own thing. When he calls me and asks me to ‘come here’ a lot of the time it’s for nothing important. It’s very confusing because although I know it’s abnormal behaviour on his part I end up feeling guilty because I feel bad that he is obviously insecure. Xx

[Author]

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