Normal life

[Butterfly-A]

We have booked to go away (detail removed by Moderator), its super spontaneous for us and I am really looking forward to it, despite fearing that it again wont reach my expectations. When I told my friends about this, they looked at me like I was going crazy, like they were angry about it. They just couldn’t understand why I would want to go away with someone that’s so horrible to me.

But this is not just abuse, this is my life. Whilst I am still preparing to leave, this is my everyday and if I don’t choose to do these things now, I will be stuck in this place of feeling down, living the same mundane everyday.

Its really hard to explain to people how you can dislike someone so much but love them entirely at the same time.

[Chocolatebunnie]

Just wanted to let you know I get it I really do and they wont because unless your in it or been in it you dont understand abuse.

Of course you want to go, of course you dont want to be let down and fear the expectations wont be met, again thats all part of it and of course you hope and you wish it will now be ok, and of course you love him becuase thats abuse its all part of it.

But what they dont get is how much more you know than them, not just about abuse because you have felt what that feels like, but you are learing how to make yourself a better, stronger person and that you have a choice in all of this.

I always feel when friends have their opinions of my marriage that its almost unbearable as its the truth I dont want to hear. But also I dont want anyone taking away my choices. As having a choice gives you back your power in all of this. You choose if you go on this holiday, you choose if you stay or leave your partner, you choose if and when that happens and how, you choose to do what is best for you. it is your life and you have to take from it whatever you need and if you need this holiday then take it.

Yep I am rambling but yep I get it xx

[Butterfly-A]

Hi Chocolatebunnie,

thank you for your words.

It’s SO important to find people that do understand, so they can keep you sane whilst also still having the support from people that may be speaking the truth.

xx

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