Not my words, but my thoughts exactly…..

[Alicenotichains]

“And that’s why we stay longer than we should because it hurts to watch something you love transform into something you hate. We sit and wait for it to return to its original state, in denial as we ignore the fact that what we see was always there and what is now will always be.”

[Serenity]

Yes, hoping that things will return to that original state which held such promise is what keeps us there- plus feeling that we are responsible for it turning sour ( and desperately trying to mend it).

Sone of the things I detest about abusers : their flowery words, their dramatic promises, their professions of love and of having found a true soul mate in you. The fact is, they say it to hook you in. It was only ever about them- not you.

A truly good man would love a woman all the more for her courage and resilience in motherhood, her principles etc. An abuser isn’t interested in all that. All he cares about is how you can benefit him. Abusers are shallow, self-centred and small-minded.

We are capable of beautiful thoughts and have beautiful ideals. Maybe one day some of us will find someone worthy of us, but if we don’t then we can just be proud and happy and totally comfortable in our own skin, knowing we aren’t anything like them. We can celebrate that mere fact!

I read something recently:

We now get to live our life. We can define it for ourselves. We can get to live a life based on our own limits and our own enthusiasms.

I reckon that’s a good recipe for happiness.

[Knots]

I read a lot of posts which talk about staying with partners because they still love them and hope things will get better. That was me for about (removed by moderator) years I was absolutely in denial, whilst hiding his behaviour from friends and family, but for more than that time I have not felt any love at all, it all just disappeared. Yet I stayed even as I grew to hate him, still hiding it from others, though it was obvious to everyone that things weren’t right. In the face of everything terrible that has gone on I can only make sense of having stayed by likening it to a phobia, I know it is irrational and I would feel better if I just tackled it, but I still can’t pick up that big spider and put it outside.
I hope you can x

[Author]

Posts