Not posted before but really struggling

[Lostmonkey]

Without the specifics became aware of emotional/coercive/financial abuse from husband from (detail removed by moderator) this year. He changed medication and because of being aware of being investigated by social services his behaviour altered.
He was advised to leave family home recently which he did and moved away to live with his sister. He saw kids supervised and always fun days such as zoo and macdonalds and sometimes pizza hut too.
He has now moved back to where we live. A 3 bedroom place and they returned today saying they were so excited as he had made a room for each of them and they wanted to stay over as he has also bought them a special mug and lots of other things too. He alwaysbsaid there was no money for uniform or activities for the kids or for us to go swimming… He never disclosed his salary or money he had put away and yet spent mine without worry.
The abuse has been going on for many years. I wrote to a friend as far back as (detail removed by moderator) setting how tired I was with the violence and emotional stuff. And yet I stayed and I had children.
He was not violent to me but around me. He threw, stabbed, kicked, punched etc etc but not me directly so it did not cross that line.
Everyone says he cannot really change, even that he has n**********c and borderline personality disorders. Even the police said he would be like this to regain control. And yet they think he seems genuine and my eldest wants her normal family back… Mummy and Daddy at home… But what if it is all an act. I cannot trust that it isn’t but by all accounts I have to start letting them go to him unsupervised. I was told by friends and family that it was not worth progressing with the police but maybe I have to to to protect them?
I have not slept much the last few nights so am even more tired and struggling. Any advice is very welcome. There is much more that I can add but maybe from prompts from others.

[KIP.]

I would do everything in my power to limit contact with such a person. Ring the domestic abuse police unit and talk it through with them. Get support from your local woman aid too. If someone behaved this way but wasn’t related to you and your children, would you allow him near you/them? Abusers are superb manipulators. Especially if there is no hard and fast court order in place. Ring Rights of Women or get some legal advice. Most solicitors offer a free initial consultation. Don’t listed to anything but the facts straight from the mouths of professionals. Who says they have to go unsupervised? Don’t allow it until the courts say so. Once you allow unsupervised It’s harder to back track and say no. Start as you mean to go on. Get support from WA. Ring the helpline number on here too for advice. There’s even a chat room via email that’s being trialled

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