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I have had enough and don’t think o can take another day.
I’ve woke up this morn with a heavy heart as my partner finished nights this morn and that always means I’m in for a bad night tonight as he will be tired later and will take everything out on me.
I don’t think my body or brain can take anymore 😢 Xx
Why can’t I do it and get us out and be free?Xx
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Speak with Womens Aid they with help you to get out and to be free.
I know how your feeling mine work nights and the change over day was awful some times he would be fine others I couldn’t do a thing right till he blow at me.. Many days I would walk the children even in the rain so me had a quite house so he could sleep and on day that was wrong because he wanted a drink and I wasn’t there to bring it up to him.
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Im not sure I feel safe today- that knot is my stomach is massive.
FS I totally get where you are coming from we always stay out the house allay so he can sleep, but today I’m in as he wants the house to be completely sorted but it’s so difficult trying to keep a (removed by moderator) old quite and she is making more mess so I’m going round in circles, because I don’t want him to blow the moment he wakes up
Just overwhelmed that I won’t get everything done in time
I’m struggling to cope today. Xx -
Hi moon
Hugs xx I know the dred your feeling. (Removed by moderator)old and tidy is impossible on a rainy day xx
We had a play area, so the rest of the room house was tidy. I can remember spending all night cleaning the house so it would be tidy when he got in. I was never allowed to hoover while he was in bed.
Stay strong and think what you want out of life for you and your child xx when ever you are ready there are people that can help you xx
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Moon,
You can make the brave leap into having a life without his abuse. It will take every ounce of courage that you have. You might not even feel courageous. Sometimes you need to just act and worry about it later.
Please don’t tell him you intend to leave. Only leave when he isn’t around, and when you can go to a safe place. You can have a life free of his abuse. X*x
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Moon,
You poor thing. I feel overwhelmed for you. I can feel the feeling of the knot in your gut. Your anxiety is raised because your gut is telling you your not going to be ok with him today. You need to breathe. Try and slow down and get some things prepared just incase you have to go quickly. Even the security of knowing you are prepared might make you feel a little better. If you can’t keep it in the house hide it outside somewhere safe. We are all routing for you moon you can do this. One step at a time the biggest thing is getting out but once you’ve done it you will be able to breathe and think more clearly. You will be able to cry the pain that enduring everyday out and most of all you and your baby girl will be safe. Xxxxx
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I didn’t manage to do either 😢
Didn’t get out and didn’t finish all my jobs.
I’m sure I will regret both as he has woken in a foul mood and has already shouted at me.
I can’t keep moaning about the situation or the repercussions as you lovely ladies told me what to do and it’s my fault as I couldn’t do it 😢 And have now lost my chance X. -
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Moon,
It’s ok don’t be so hard on yourself. You have enough if him doing that to you. Over the years there have been countless times I’ve wanted to leave and haven’t there have also been countless times I’ve left and gone back. You will do it when your ready but please know I really do know how hard it is. Mine has been emailing begging for forgiveness and giving all the promises under the sun of change. At one point I would have gone running to him straight away full of hope and joy that he really loves me, now I sit here feeling pretty sure it’s yet another tactic to take back his thrown in my house. It’s even harder when little ones are involved. The non stop abuse or threat of abuse is consuming, frightening and draining. Take whatever moments you can to be kind to yourself in anyway possible. Even if you have to wait until he’s at work to do so. I cleaned the toilet with his toothbrush one day whilst he was at work 😁 even though I was a complete wreck from him battering me the night before I was still able to giggle inside to myself whilst he stood in the bathroom brushing his teeth. I’m not proud to say I stooped to that level but when someone is taking everything from you every now and then it kept me going. Keep strong, chin up and tomorrow is a new day. Sending loads of hugs xxxx
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Hi Moon
Don’t be hard on yourself for not taking “this chance”. Take comfort in the fact that you know you must get out. That is a positive step. Stay focussed on this, and build up your inner determination. Meanwhile, do what you can within your control to look after yourself as well as you can, eat and sleep as best you can and try to avoid anything that may cloud your thought processes. Try and get yourself in the best mental position that you can in order to benefit from the “next chance”
I can only offer suggestions from my own experience. -
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Marthamoo – here is the link:
http://lundybancroft.blogspot.co.uk/. If you scroll down to the second blog on this page you will find the article.
The other ones are also really insightful and helpful.
KL -
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