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    • #137688
      Gymshark
      Participant

      Hi,
      So I’ve played sport all my life. Parents would take me (detail removed by moderator) every weekend but I would be shouted at on the sidelines sometimes or fear if I hadn’t played well. There was one match we (detail removed by moderator) my dad parked up at the (detail removed by moderator), got out and locked the car. I was about (detail removed by moderator) so didn’t need it locked for safety. He went to the (detail removed by moderator), which is normal for him. However, he got really angry i’d tried to unlock the car and he had got angry at how Id played. I wondered if this was abuse or normal? He can be nice and say nice things but he can change instantly and you have to be careful what you say. Or he can start swearing at you. Like if you ask something it’s like you’ve said the stupidest thing ever, it’s not right in his mind. Thanks for reading

    • #137693
      Twisted Sister
      Participant

      Hi Gymshark

      I am sorry to hear this 🙁

      Its not normal to be fearful of angering your parent to the point of worrying about how to speak. Yes, thats called living on eggshells, like tiptoeing around someone for fear you may upset them and there’ll be consequences (anything that would frighten you, or demean you, like the anger and swearing at you).

      You can’t tell who he is going to be at any point; someone who’s not abusive would listen to you if you were to say that they were frightening you, and find that upsetting, if they don’t then it doesn’t matter to them or that may be their point, to get you frightened.

      Its also not normal to lock a (detail removed by moderator) in a car and expect them to just remain there whilst you go in the (detail removed by moderator), or wherever. I would expect a (detail removed by moderator) to be out doing their own thing, or drop them off whilst I did what I wanted to do. There comes an age where your kids don’t have to go evrerywhere with you for their safety anymore, and it would be long before the age of (detail removed by moderator)! Although I always centrally lock my car for safety when in it, as thats what my car does, so anyone travelling with me would be locked in by the car, but I probably wouldn’t take the keys out if I was nipping into pick up something quickly and someone was with me.

      Do keep talking, there is plenty of support for you here to work out these things, and there is further support for you locally to which you could be put in touch with.

      warmest wishes

      ts

    • #137699
      Medusa
      Participant

      Dear gymshark,
      I am sorry to hear that you are being treated this way. I assume that this is one example of many similar. I would start writing them down.
      I am dealing with something similar and feel that my husband is sometimes crossing the boarder (detail removed by moderator). A similar example from me: my husband came back from our eldest (detail removed by moderator). When he came into the house alone I asked where ‘x’ was. He said (detail removed by moderator) in the car. I continued to (detail removed by moderator) but after a couple of minutes I went out to check. My son was (detail removed by moderator) and he ran to his room crying. My husband thought it was very funny and a lesson learned for messing about (detail removed by moderator).
      I don’t think this is ok.
      Could you talk to your parents about this? Have you got someone else to talk to?

      X

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