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    • #134941
      Lifebegins
      Participant

      Hi Ladies

      What a week. Still staying strong though as I’m not going to let him get me down 💪💪💪

      My question is about occupational rent where one party pays the mortgage (the domestic violence victim) when the other party (the abuser) has had to leave the property due to domestic violence and non-molestation order. The mortgage is for the family home where kids are mainly living/being cared for. Does anyone have experience of this or could point me where to look? Am googling but not finding a lot.

      Any advice much appreciated and happy for you to pm me if it’s anything that not allowed to be shared on the forum xxxx

    • #134943
      KIP.
      Participant

      Most solicitors will offer free initial advice. Citizens Advice have been helpful to me. Rights of Women offer free legal advice. In my experience he should be paying his half of the mortgage and if you’re paying it all then that should come out any settlement in the divorce. Keep everything. Receipts. Mortgage and bank letters and statements.

    • #134946
      Lifebegins
      Participant

      Thanks KIP. it’s quite complicated so the free initial advice with a solicitor isn’t going to cover it. I’m going to try Rights of Women and see if I can get through.

      When will this end???? I feel like my head’s going to explode. I can see why women give up as the legal process is just another avenue for abuse aided and abetted by their solicitors. But I’m going to keep going. He’s not going to bully me anymore. And at least I’m not living with him. That every day is a blessing. Unfortunately for him that’s something he can’t escape! X*x

    • #134951
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      I think two years was quoted to me for the average divorce time.

      Mine took (detail removed by moderator).

      Be prepared for the long haul.

    • #134966
      Lifebegins
      Participant

      Oh no StartingOverAgain. I saw your post before it was deleted! Xx

    • #134972
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      It’s ok. I don’t think anyone else’s takes that long normally.

      There are much better resources out there now Lifebigins.

      When I left I was not aware of anything at all.

      Stick on here, the women will walk you through it step by step.

      solidarity.

    • #134985
      Eggshells
      Participant

      As far as I can tell, he can claim a notional rent for his share of the property.

      If he is no longer paying the mortgage, you can offset the rent by counterclaiming his share of the mortgage.

      It’ll get more complicated because he’ll need to pay his share of that notional rent if the children are living there. I think you’ll need a very good solicitor for this. It sounds like he’s found himself a solicitor who enjoys enabling his abuse.

      I totally get what you are saying about solicitors legitimising the abuse. They should be struck off. Instead it’s, almost impossible to eeven make a complaint against them.

      If you can’t get hold of rights for women, please try Citizens Advice. Ultimately, it sounds like you’re going to need a good solicitor.

    • #135003
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      I’ve just made a complaint against the solicitor I tried to use for my settlement (I had paid them some money and they said they were going to do the matter on the basis of hardship). I then realised they were fleecing me. Literally. That was when I did the matter myself.

      Yesterday I got half the money back I paid them. Success.So whatever you ask them to do, be as assertive as you can and give instructions clearly. You may need to state at every stage what you DONT wish them to do.

      If they over step boundaries then, yes, complain. You are in the driving seat here.

    • #135015
      Lifebegins
      Participant

      Unfortunately I’m now repping myself as I can longer afford a solicitor. This is emboldening him and his solicitor I think.

      But I’m just realising I don’t need to be afraid of them. They send threatening letters to try and force me to accept what they’re proposing. I don’t have to. Only a court can enforce anything.

      Tried calling Rights of Women but I couldn’t get through. I’ll try again tonight. Wish there was a place you could locate legal info to look up by yourself xx

    • #135016
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Yes Lifebegins, there is this tactic. Otherwise very simply described as ‘bullying and intimidation’.

      Understand you may not wish to post detail or wise to,
      but a few tips.

      Family Court admin staff. They are not allowed to give legal advice, but you can ask them about correct procedure and they are happy to help i.e. what to do with forms, which forms etc.

      If you have a question, pm me and I’ll try to help with the knowledge I have. It wasn’t an education I wanted to have in life, but now that I do, might as well use the info to help someone else eh?

    • #135017
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Two tips

      a) always, always send legal papers by special delivery next day (keep the receipt it does cost about eight quid but it is worth the money knowing somethng has arrived and perhaps more importnatly been signed for by ex or solicitor of other side)

      But even doing that there may be delay tactics. Watch out for them.

      b) Be aware that anything sent to family court via attachment should be acknowledged by email response. To be fair they are pretty good at that.

    • #135018
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Also if you are a litigant in person i.e without solicitor the court are supposed to show particular understanding for your situation. and my expereince is that they do. So if you really don’t understand something do ask them.

    • #135019
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Sorry to post again.
      But steel yourself for the ‘bullying letter that arrives on a Friday afternoon so the other side can stress me out all weekend’…

      I don’t know why they still do it, but they do.

    • #135020
      Lifebegins
      Participant

      Thanks StartingOverAgain. I will pm you. Well done on getting your money back. Good when we start realising our power 💪xx

    • #135021
      Eggshells
      Participant

      Rights of women have loads of info online. I find their website hard to navigate though.

      I’ll pm you a link to their info on Domestic Violence, Housing and Homelessness. xx

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