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    • #100074
      Cecile
      Participant

      He was dramatically leaving empty boxes of over the counter medicines around the house (detail removed by moderator) I didn’t take the bait and went out with my pets. Off early to bed as we do, to avoid him and try and get warm. He had spent the rest of the day restricting my access to warmth. all day. Got up this morning, freezing. 5 minutes after I turned the heat on he turned it off. the house is a balmy 12 degree, the tension is prickling the back of my neck, my injured limb aches with the cold. He went out, came back and felt a heater and growled when he felt out was lukewarm, he turned it iff again. Then began to dab at the front door handle with spray bleach and a very dirty sponge, breathing heavily, never a good sign. then he went and phoned some one but touched everywhere and didn’t wipe down any other spots (?). I heard him on the phone discussing symptoms and giving his birth date.I swear, if he has it, I will not help him for a millisecond. One can only pray.

    • #100075
      Cecile
      Participant

      Its a ploy to make sure he stays in the house.

    • #100076
      KIP.
      Participant

      Yes, these men will do anything for attention. Mine invented lumps on his testicles. Don’t believe a word he says and have a panic room ready where you can brace the door shut. This is a time when things will escalate. If he was ill then living in a freezing house won’t help him. I agree it’s a ploy for attention. When you don’t offer assistance he will use it against you to build up to a frenzy. Stay safe x have your phone fully charged and it you trust a neighbour I’d ask them to ring the police if they hear screaming.

    • #100082
      Cecile
      Participant

      Luckily the neighbours can hear us, paper thin walls. Its why he has stopped verbally berating me. just uses his stalking tactics.Thanks for the advice.

    • #100085
      HopeLifeJoy
      Participant

      These men are sick, disgusting to turn off the heater and let you freeze.
      Can you move out ? Somewhere warm? It’s awful to be cold and abused at the same time.
      Can someone move in with you?
      I dearly wish your situation changes and that at the very least you stay warm. Keep warm from inside, drink plenty of tea.
      Also pls prepare an emergency bag for you and your pets in case you have to get out quickly. If he tries to abuse you silently, physical abuse is silent. Strangling you is silent. Pls stay safe. Have a look at how to self defend yourself on youtube.
      Read the homepage here for advice.
      Sending you strength, keep strong ok. We’re behind you.

    • #100093
      HopeLifeJoy
      Participant

      Can you ask your neighbours for a small portable heater?

    • #100094
      KIP.
      Participant

      Order one off Amazon. They’re still delivering.

    • #100095
      KIP.
      Participant

      It was awful living with my ex after I wanted a divorce. He refused to move out. He would play the tv at its loudest when I was in bed. Paired away all my milk. Knocked the hot iron off the board when I was ironing in my bare feet. Jamed my fingers in a door when I tried to wedge my door shut etc etc. Just built himself up into a frenzied assault x be careful x

    • #100096
      Cecile
      Participant

      Yes the police are aware and everything is in process. Awaiting court decision on stuff. I actually have a place ready to move to in another country. I have emailed someone today to get advice on moving there as a victim of DV as I have done everything possible to resolve this and no one can help me. I have lots of sympathy and spent lots of money and given accounts but no one has said to him to get the f*** out and stop bullying your wife. I was in the park today with my pets. he had been hurting one so I have had to keep her with me all the time and I cannot leave the house without her. I am worn down, believe me, she is hard work being a spirited little creature.Anyway today she wiggled down a hole and I bent to pull her out and cut my scalp quite deeply on a branch overhanging us. I just cried and cried and cried, it was the last b****y straw. I realised if it was serious I had no one to call to collect me or help me or just say ‘oh no you poor thing’.(It has healed is just sore and swollen) Just this cold nasty monster lurking in my home that does’nt even feel like a home, it is cold and dirty and decaying. I really and truly cannot take any more.

    • #100099
      HopeLifeJoy
      Participant

      ‘it is cold and dirty and decaying’….it is a direct reflection of who he is inside, of his soul.
      Cecile darling can you pls stay somewhere else? I am worried about your safety. He sounds very creepy. I am also worried about your health. I know my own health as soon as I am cold for even just a few min, I get sick.

      Could you stay with your neighbours? Or can you afford a hotel until you can move out of the country?
      What else is there…would you consider a shelter, refuge?
      Can you call the police and ask them bluntly to remove him for the next 30 days on grounds of DA?
      Can you contact WA and ask for further advice and ideas?

    • #100100
      hop
      Participant

      Cecile you can’t keep going on like this. He needs to be stopped. Please call the police. 12° is over twice as cold as room temperature. You can’t live like that physically and psychologically being cold is awful. You’re still injured from his last assault and your body will be trying to try and keep you warm so how can you heal. You deserve much better 💖

    • #100104
      Cecile
      Participant

      Hi Hlj and Ff. there is an urgent order in court as we speak. Just waiting to hear. He is very insidious. Knows how to wear me down with the utmost calculation. This is the very worst time for this virus….as it is for so many women…

    • #100105
      HopeLifeJoy
      Participant

      Okay. You’re doing everything right. A little relieved. Stay warm okay. Wear wool. Sent you some comedie ideas on the other netflix thread

    • #100106
      Cecile
      Participant

      💕🙏

    • #100108
      fizzylem
      Participant

      Hey C, just sending you a hug, today was a bad day, get some rest and see what tomorrow brings. You’ve been busy, are exhausted, I’m amazed at how you often do keep your spirits up but you do, so of course there are times when this feels not doable, the situtation is a deseprate one after all, v difficult to tirn coal into gold, but that said, this is what will happen soon though isn’t, in your next chapter. Hang in there, we’re all willing you on x

    • #100110
      hop
      Participant

      I hope that the courts do the right thing by you. You deserve so much more than this unlife that you’re living now. Take care and stay as safe as you can. Wear loads of thin layers on top of each other and put leggings on under your pants. As fizzy said we’re all willing you on. This b****y situation! Hopefully it will work in your favour and he’ll be removed 💖 you deserve a happy life full of love and safety xx

    • #100112
      Cecile
      Participant

      Thanks FL and FF your posts have moved me to tears. I am truly at the end of my tether, beyond it. Knowing somebody knows about me helps a lot. I have a session with my counsellor over the PC tomorrow morning….so need it.

    • #100115
      hop
      Participant

      Tell her whatever you need to to make yourself feel better. I’m really not surprised you’re at the end of you’re tether. You’re living in utter torment. Please hang on in there. You are doing amazingly well under these circumstances and maybe this covid situation might be just the thing that gets him out of your house and your life for good. Stay strong as you can and keep going. He wants you to be in this position, please keep going x

    • #100116
      Cecile
      Participant

      Two steps forward and one step backwards = one step forwards!

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