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Just musing on how I now have to turn my phone off when I go to bed as I get a phone call and at least three or four messages a night. And yet before, would hardly ever get a call and messages were sporadic….especially if he was drinking with his family. Apparently, he would be too drunk to text and say he wasn’t coming home, but now he’s never too drunk to let me know how he loves me or give me a pile of abuse! If they put in a quarter of the amount of effort into the relationship as they put in when you break up,they wouldn’t be in the situation in the first place! Their thinking is so warped….🤔
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This is so true, and I’m really glad to hear it from you lovely ladies today.
I’ve been making mistakes with relationships lately and this involved going back into what I thought was a friendship with a bloke – who had started offering to do little things for me…and insisting that he wanted nothing other than friendship. Because I felt overloaded I allowed him to do that – only
to find that he had an agenda all along…which was basically wanting to restart a relationship with me,
and really this was about power and control as far as I can see,
because when I didn’t agree with him about something – he got angry on the phone and said that he was fed up of my ‘negative attitude’ – obviously trying to make me feel bad about myseld. He said ‘don
t phone me again – well – I said straight, that’s a relief.Still blaming myself for getting into a thing with him again though and having a hard job being kind to myself about it. All I really wanted was for someone to help out a bit and someone to chat to. is that too much to ask, I ask myself? what a mess….I’m really down about it today…feel I should have known better…it really hasn’t helped with my workload in the long run…
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Freedomtochoose,
You shouldn’t feel bad….it’s how they play us. I tend to take people on face value. I don’t have agendas. I do things because I genuinely care about others. And I think we kind of assume that everyone is like that. Of course, there are people who will take advantage of that. That’s on them. I am determined to learn to protect myself from it, but I refuse to take responsibility for what they do. I’m not good at it yet. (detail removed by moderator). He says things that hurt and I feel bad. He just wanted me to talk to him and used my son to get it. He’s foul!
But I’m a good person, so there must be others out there. Losing faith in humanity gives him the ultimate win. I won’t give him that. You shouldn’t either. Kindness and support are not too much to ask for. And well done you for standing your ground! You should feel proud! X*x -
Would love to block him but we have our son. Tried to communicate with his family but they won’t get involved. He’s pretty quiet in the day, but he drinks a lot on the night and that’s when he wants to ‘talk’ despite me being in bed! He sent me threats and I reported it so need to have any more that he sends me on record or I would block him. They don’t come through if I do that. So I’m in a bit of a bind really. Wish I could just go no contact.
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