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Do you ever get to a place where you see the light at the end of the tunnel and are feeling so much more positive. Then suddenly it’s ruined by someone else’s emotions and your back in the dark or on that rollercoaster of up and down emotions.
When having a great day with your friends suddenly becomes the worst day when you step in the door and greeted by someone who appears to be nice at first then just switches and turns on you.
When they drink all night stay up til the early hours most weekends and you have to walk on egg shells even on the next day.
When they bring up past arguments that we moved on from but they hold against you and bring them up any chance they get during an argument they started.
When you mention things they have done and they down play it as a mere joke or say that’s nothing. But they don’t understand the impact on what their words have done to you and how they’ve made you feel.
When you then question your own worth and question whether you’re a good person.
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I could not have picked a better word to use. Its for sure a roller coaster ride! It’s like a punch in the stomach isn’t it you go from being in like a little bubble of happiness with doing something or being out rhe house only to return to your reality. But we need to understand its not us. No good relationship makes you feel like you question yourself or have to walk on eggshells. I’ve done it for years and years, changed myself, adapted. Yet its the same old. They can’t and won’t empathise with you, you try to explain to justify your feelings but they are either shut down or ignored completely. I don’t have answers, just shared experiences n know that u aren’t alone. I wish you the best. Its taken me so long to get to this place of acknowledging it’s not me, I hope you too can see your truth and trust your experiences and value your feelings. They are valid
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It is exhausting. You can have a brilliant day and feel happy. Then hours later it kicks off and you’re anxious or sad or angry and arguing. Then they get what they want and they’re all nice again and you’re still angry or upset and they don’t get it. Then hours later something great will happen and you’ll be happy and within minutes something bad will happen and you’re arguing again. It is so tiring. I got so fed up of it. Now my days are balanced and peaceful without him.
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