Just woken up after dreaming about when I left
The dream pulled the whole ending situation together and put it into one day
How he used sex
The guilt trip
And ended with his helping hand to look like he was pleased I left (in real life this bit was a couple of weeks before I left as he opened the front doors so the removal people could take out my belongings, that hurt me as I felt so rejected but of course he played up right till the end)
Real life now –
We never got to say goodbye as I left when he wasn’t at home, I believed this to be the best as I didn’t want him to thrive on watching my emotions as I walked away.
I do now worry all the time when will the pay back be and to what extent. He is with someone else and has been since we were still together and I knew she was my punishment anyway as this happened lots of times but this one had to be the last but I’m worried as I’m not sure that will stop him.
Please let me know if any of you experienced the waiting game as years ago when I ‘had’ to leave before I only had to wait a few weeks before he was crying at my door step but this time I know he won’t be crying it will be vindictive
I’m sure that there will be pay back but we will never know.
In one way though its horrid I am in the same property as my abuser, but this is giving me time for closer and see him for the monster that he is. He is a bitter and twisted man that will never understand the real meaning of love.
The best pay back we can have is surviving and living the life we deserve. To go home without fear of what would greet us.