4th October 2021 at 8:07 pm #132209Belle250Participant
I’ve started a new job… 😁
After not being allowed to work for sooooo long – because I work in a male dominated industry, my ex wouldn’t allow me to work.
I was really anxious about it all, if I could even still do it and when I was offered a better position that what I had applied for, it just reminded me that I’m good at what I do! I don’t need to be scared to stand on my own two feet again.
Going back to work has reminded me that I want my independence back.
I was fiercely independent before him but (detail removed by moderator) massively affected my self esteem.
And then all of the events that followed just built on top of that until there was nothing left of me.
I won’t pretend that everything is going to be better all of a sudden.
I still feel that moment when I come home to an empty house…
So I’m realistic and I will maintain my weekly counselling and I don’t think that will stop anytime soon. I still read a lot about certain topics that affected me and I watch YouTube videos because that’s what helps me personally and all I can do is try to keep rebuilding my confidence.
I had to leave my home and I had to go without because I didn’t have any money and I had to stay in refuge.
I have honestly gone from on-my-knees-rock-bottom to at least feeling like I have something to live and wake up for again and that’s the truth.
I guess I just wanted to say, please keep fighting for yourself, no matter how hard that may be… The battles that I’ve had with myself, I wouldn’t wish upon anyone. I know how hard it is to try and force yourself to just get up and just get from one moment to the next.
But please keep going because it does get better. It might be slow!
Again I’d like to thank all of the inspirational women who shared their stories because it really was reading those posts and knowing that I wasn’t alone that helped me.
4th October 2021 at 9:55 pm #132213nbumblebeeParticipant
Huge huge congratulations I love hearing positive news makes me believe a little.
Well done, keep fighting and Thanks for sharing ❤
6th October 2021 at 7:00 pm #132241DarcyParticipant
Hi beautiful angel … Belle250,
What a lovely inspirational post … thank you for posting
Well done for re-building your life, it may not feel like much but when you look back I’m sure you have come a very long way and grown much more than you give yourself credit for
I to had to rebuild my life after an abusive relationship & get a job after not working for a while, but the feeling of freedom verses being controlled and ‘lockdown’ is priceless
Keep moving forward my darling … you have got this
Sending you continued love and support
6th October 2021 at 10:53 pm #132245EggshellsParticipant
Thank you for posting Belle250. I really need to see posts like this right now. I think alit of ladies who are struggling will find new hope after reading this.
When you say a long time, I was just wondering how long it took you to feel like you were back on your feet?
7th October 2021 at 9:01 am #132253EyesopeningParticipant
Well done you Belle, thanks for sharing, always good to hear success stories x*x
15th October 2021 at 8:30 pm #132553Belle250Participant
Thank you so so much for reading my post and leaving your lovely replies, it means the world to me.
@Eggshells; This may get moderated but it’s been the better part of a year for me.
I kept trying to find out and I would ask my counsellor ‘how long will it be like this’ and the bottom line is there is no definitive timeline.
It’s however long it takes for you personally; to really process what’s happened, start to heal and then take the steps to move forward.
Like I said, I’m a realist so I do still have my negative moments, but I’ve found coping mechanisms that work for me to get me through those moments and this forum was one of those things. And I was fortunate that I’m still in contact with some of the ladies from my refuge because it really does help to speak with people who can relate to what you’ve been through.
I know it sounds preachy but if you could have seen me before, you wouldn’t believe that I’m the same woman now, so please keep pushing, keep fighting for yourself, even on those days when you don’t want to.
We are all here for each other.
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