One of those Mornings

[Strongenough]

Hi Everyone, Just came here to do a bit of an offload. I’m having one of those mornings where I can’t get motivated and having lots of flashback thoughts to horrible incidents that happened when I was in the abusive relationship. Events this week have triggered this and I know that in a few weeks time it should pass, but I hate being trapped in this stage.

I need to get moving today and get my mind off it, which I fully intend to do. Just needed to vent before I put one foot in front of the other and start my day.

Thanks for reading x

[theocrat]

Sending you lots of love.

YOU ARE A SURVIVOR!

I agree with Beachhut venting and sharing is good.

Take your day minute by minute hour by hour…

[Strongenough]

Thanks for your replies, always a great comfort having the support from fellow members 💐

[theocrat]

The bully I live with likes to send me on wild goose chases to get ingredients  (detail removed by moderator) he plans to cook us.
Sometimes he’ll force me into visiting (detail removed by moderator) supermarkets shouting and swearing at me how (detail removed by moderator).
Then he’ll just decide he doesn’t want to cook with those ingredients tonight, how he  (detail removed by moderator) he’ll then make it extremely difficult to have a conversation about what we’ll have for tea, shutting down all suggestions I make to him often resulting in him again shouting and swearing and blaming me saying (detail removed by moderator)
I do offer, I offer every week since our time together, but of course it’s always (detail removed by moderator). I do approach him about his behaviour when he’s calm but he deny’s it.
I try and say to him when he’s in that mood (detail removed by moderator) but of course, as he’s a bully he’ll stop me and tell me I’m to (detail removed by moderator).
In my head I’ve checked out of this relationship so long ago.
It’s just incredibly difficult to actually break free.
I get into my car often and I scream at the top of my lungs to release the pure pain I feel.

[Bananaboat]

My gosh yes I lived this too. I’ve ended things but still in same house but I’ve already noticed my love of cooking returning and that I’m eating what I want to eat, kids are eating more too and actually it’s healthier than his spice ridden, meat heavy menu. X

[Strongenough]

I remember this feeling of having to second guess even the simplest of tasks whilst someone else plays their sick mind games and continually moves the goal posts.

I hope you have a support network around you, and well done for identifying what he is doing isn’t right and certainly isn’t your fault. It’s amazing the lengths we go to and how much we will tolerate when trying to survive in an abusive relationship.

Stay strong and please keep reaching out for support x

[nbumblebee]

Hwy @strongenough hope you are feeling better today sweetie. Sending you big hugs x

[Strongenough]

I am, thank you @nbumblebee. The support on this forum gives me comfort and hope when I’m struggling. You are all so kind and it amazes me how others who are dealing with so much themselves, find the strength and kindness to help people like me 💖

[Gerbil]

Dear strongenough
I agree some days are just so hard! Venting is good! Sharing on here is good! I hope you are having a better day today.
Take care x

[Strongenough]

Good morning Everyone,

Looking back my posts and reflecting how bad I felt 7 days ago. I’m glad to say today I am feeling so much better than last weekend. Nothing has changed and I still have the same challenges ahead, yet today I feel strong enough to acknowledge them and not let them get me down.

I am so thankful to have the support of all you lovely ladies and want to wish you all a peaceful Sunday 💐🌈.

[theocrat]

I’m on holiday with The Bully.
Just checked in here with you ladies because it’s hell on earth.
The Bully moaned on the (detail removed by Moderator) the whole way here. The Bully didn’t allow me to purchase (detail removed by Moderator). The Bully has critised my dress sense and my figure.
The Bully has non-stop moaned about our accommodation, saying we’re going home (detail removed by Moderator).When we do go home, he’ll makes jokes and tell friends it was my decision, then of course he’ll lay into me saying I should’ve forced us to stay.

[Gerbil]

Dear theocrat
Sorry to hear it’s hell on earth. A holiday should be so special and not the way you are describing it. I feel for you honey. I am dreading our holiday as I know it will be so similar to what you are describing.
Take care. X

[Author]

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