7th June 2021 at 1:27 pm #126800IlikechickenParticipant
How do you all stop yourself going backwards mentally. I feel OK then something happens and I feel the anxiety and stress all over again. Any positive stories or advice would be lovely to hear x
8th June 2021 at 3:45 pm #126880LisaMain Moderator
I just wanted to offer some support as I can hear that you’re struggling in terms of maintaining your progress at the moment. It can be so hard to be strong all the time, it’s important to be kind and patient with yourself and remember how far you have already come.
Hopefully others will be along with advice soon. Thank you for sharing how you are feeling with us.
Take care and keep posting,
8th June 2021 at 5:33 pm #126883HawthornParticipant
Hi ilikechicken! 👋
I think what you’re experiencing is very normal and I experience the same with my moods being up and down. That said, I’m out nearly a year so things have evened out significantly. I don’t get nearly as low or as anxious on my down days, or as high and manic on my up days. The waves of emotions have calmed and I’m on a more even keel. Reframing the down days is important.
Its normal to have ups and downs in life, when things are flatlining, we’re dead. While it’s not pleasant to feel anxious or stressed, it’s also not necessarily a backward step, sometimes it because we’re processing something that happened a long time ago, and perhaps because of the abusive situation we were in it wasn’t safe to feel those feeling then.
So acknowledging that you feel anxious or stressed, noticing how it feels in your body, and knowing that the feeling is a wave that will pass is very important. Also knowing ” don’t believe everything you feel”, and what I mean by that is, just because you feel anxious or afraid, it doesn’t mean something terrible is actually going to happen. For example, maybe my abuser manages to get a message to me somehow, I get such a fright. My heart starts to beat fast, my palms are sweaty, I feel sick. But then I can stop. Breathe. Notice where I am. See that he’s not really there. That he can’t hurt me anymore. That his words can’t hurt me if I don’t let them in. So I can tell myself (out loud is best) that Im safe. I can delete the message or choose not to read it and save it as evidence.
So counselling,mindfulness, yoga and walks in nature is how I’ve managed my stress and anxiety. You’ll get there too. Anxiety is not my enemy. It tried for many years to warn me of the danger I was in while I lived with my abuser, and i wouldn’t listen. Now that I’m safe, its just an over eager old friend who visits too often, and needs to be told when to go home. And these days that old friend calls less and less.
You got this, be very kind and patient with yourself. Sending a big hug xx
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