One step forward!

[Benson]

I have finally had some positive news, I am one step closer to moving areas, soon I will be free and will be able to start a new life for me and my child. I have also had a great day out today, went further a field, wasn’t followed, almost felt safe, this gave me a taster of what life is going to be like when I move. I can do this!

[lover of no contact]

Well done Benson for hanging on in there despite extreme relentless pressure by him to break you. Yes you can do this. You are way superior to him and he knows that and is jealous of you and what you are (good, kind etc everything that he is not). That is why the abusers seek to destroy us (as well as getting their kicks from our distress) as they are jealous of us. They are low life. Their behaviours are low-life behaviours. They are actually pathetic and waste their lives and energy in carrying out their horrible behaviours.

At least you can escape him and heal from him and go on to live a productive, creative and fulfilling life using all your wonderful gifts and abilities. He can never escape himself. He is stuck with himself and his daily pursuit of getting his kicks from the suffering of others.

Yes you can do this and we are all behind you every step of the way. Keep posting for support.

[Benson]

Thanks, I know I have to do this so my child can have a normal life she deserves. I have taken half a step back today as suddenly I was missing him and want him back in my life, why now? I hate him for everything he has and continues to put me through. I worry that if he stands opposite my house, like he regularly does and just watches that I will open my door and have him back – I know it sounds crazy but that’s how I feel today. This is why I have kept my curtains closed so I can’t put myself in this position. I really don’t understand after everything I feel like this!

[lover of no contact]

Hi Benson,

The wanting him back is normal, the longing is normal. I too felt the same but knew I could not act on my feelings. Its probably something to do with our ‘trauma bond. Ignore your trauma bond. Sit with your feelings but don’t act on them. Forget emotion, its logic we have to have when dealing with abusers. Head over heart.

A woman went missing on Tuesday night. Her car was found outside a house yesterday afternoon. When police searched the house her body was found bound tightly with sheets and stuffed in a wardrobe. Her ex husband had suffocated her. She had been living apart from him but went to his flat. Either her own feelings had brought her their or his ‘luring’ of her. I’m glad you are staying well away from your abuser. Contact with him could be life-threatening or life-ending or emotionally/verbally hurt badly. Also any bit of contact now will re-engage him and you’ll be back to square one. He’ll know he can persist over x amount of time and then you will cave. He has to know that this is final so he can go secure another victim to terrorize and leave you and your child another one.

I know you’re not going to give in and have contact with him but I’m just writing this for your thoughts to be filled with the harsh reality instead of his illusions.

Keep posting and your feelings will dissipate quicker.

[Serenity]

Good for you, Benson.

Here’s to a life of joy and feeedom where you can bloom, away from that strangulating weed!

You’ve done so well!

[Benson]

Thank you, I can’t wait to be free. Today he has been watching me from his car on and off all afternoon, I did take a photo, not a very good one as I didn’t want him to see me. I noticed him whilst I was packing the car up with rubbish, as having sort out before I move. I am now worried I have given the game away, he will know I am moving. Do I report this to police as technically he hasn’t broken his restraining order as he was just outside the boundaries. Unsure what to do in case it leads to something else.

[Author]

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